Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

Update of sorts

I've been trying to make an entry, I'm trying again. The meds have my memory so fuckered, I can't remember the password to get into the computer, so I can't let it go to sleep. I made that password with great care and use it more than five times a day. But, gun to my head, I couldn't tell you what it is.

Anything I do is like sleepwalking. The house gets cleaned. The dishes get done. I pass time. I've no idea how any of this happens. I forget things the moment after they come into my head. The time it takes to open a notebook and grab a pen (both of which are in every room), what I wanted to write down is gone.

I've tried writing poetry, but it really sucks, so I'm taking a break from it.

I'm in stasis with my websites, not feeling really inspired, and trying to get one back that I rage deleted. But I'm not even working on It's waiting for me.

It's all just so hard. I don't cook anymore. Which reminds me, I need to put a roast in. Oh, too late, I WILL do it tomorrow. I'll even take the roast out and wash and repackage it. I have to eat it fresh, I do not like left overs. And I have Chinese food left over for the next time I eat. Yes, I see the contradiction. Chinese food is in a class all its own.

Doc tries to lead me to my memories using little verbal clues and devices. It frustrates us both, but sometimes it works, so I wouldn't dream of asking him to stop.

Okay, that's all I can do. And I'll have to re-read it four times before I post it. And if you ask me about it hours from now, I will deny doing it.

  • nightime in the big bright city

    M and i drove down to Freemont Street to see an 80's cover band last night and walk around. a nice couple thought we were a couple and offered to…

  • some photos of the local wildlife

    leeloo, boneless kitty tech, in all his charisma good luck bug noisy and intimidating bug

  • (no subject)

    i did it, i cleared the floor and enough surface area to lay out my stuff.

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.