Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers
cydniey

I don't know what the fuck to do now.

Ths universe is conspiring against me to make me learn CSS code. In other words, I have to learn a new piece of software and I don't wanna.

I'm starting to become really annoyed with my new direction-less ways. With no ultimate goal I'm kind of lost. I don't mind saying. But it is driving me to learn things in areas I have never really looked into before, or have looked into and decided it wasn't for me (like the coding). I'm taking a course next month on archeology. Well, auditing a course. Or two. I may take intro courses from two different Unis and compare the differences.

See what I mean? I have no "way," so I'm going all ways.

I've also suddenly decided that I do, indeed want tattoos enough to pay for them. On my right shoulder, I want a big Weeping Angel, with its hands only partly over its face, so it looks like you almost blinked. And an ancient Norse Runic compass, which is still popular in Sweden. And finally, a primitive deer-like creature with elk antlers and a vulture's beak, found on the body of a revered Pazyryk fable teller found in the pre-historic perma-frost in Siberia. I have no known ties to Siberia, but I am really drawn to the art itself, and the story of the mummy, and the general history of these people, the earliest known people in Siberia. And the earliest with artistic tattoos to mark nobility and age. That is what finally drove me to audit the archeology courses. It started with the Indigenous off the coast of Canada, and spread to the Natives here, and then budded fully in the tundra of Siberia.

I have to find an aim. I made and put out my EP. I opened and stocked a successful store. I created a new website. I have some little projects to finish up, some odds and ends of supplies to use up, but nothing major in the tube. And other than the web-series "Punk Rat Life" I really don't have anything in mind. A few art projects I need supplies for. I'm not emotionally ready for the commitment of PRL right now, which is why I have put it off.

I don't know. I like being undisciplined and unscheduled, but I don't like being aimless. I don't know what the fuck to do now.
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