Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers
cydniey

Dear Diary, It is What it Is.

Dear Diary,


Yeah, I don’t know where that title came from. Usually that is a phrase I use when I am resigned to something unpleasant. But right now I’m happy, happy, happy.


It’s been a lazy day so far. I caught up on some sleep and got some supplies in. So I can work tonight. YAY! Hooray for finishing up projects.


I have set the solid date for the opening of the Punk Rock Handicrafts Shop for May 19th. I don’t care what day it is, it’s my 47th birthday, and I want to do something great for it. So this is my gift to myself.


The new TV is FABULOUS! We have purple, and green, and the picture is visible, and it’s high def. Finally, we have a high def TV. And I can hook the laptops up to it and play movies, so I can have our other DVD player in my room with the dark TV. Eventually I will get this one. We’re going to get a 40″ eventually. We decided it was too much for us all at once. So we will wait for a great sale or something, give it some time. The HD picture is just so much larger than our old TVs that it’s a little overwhelming.


Doc is out getting water and Taco Bell. I found I could order online, making it so much easier for him, so he agreed to get it for me. I spent the last of my money on it. I get paid Wednesday. Then I pay the cable bill. Doc will pay the electric and we will ro-sham-bo for the gas and water. Plus tomorrow is grocery shopping day! So next grocery day, I pick up the tab. We’re doing really well with this budget. I think so, at least. Things are paid, we are saving money, I get the little things I want, and Doc isn’t stressed out.


Now that we got through the emergency. We’re saving money for his tickets back out there for the reading of the will and the closing of the houses. That’s going to be rough on him. Saying goodbye to the home he was mostly raised in. I can’t relate to that at all, we moved too much. But I can imagine what it must be like to have such strong ties to a physical area.


Monday he goes back to work, and works every day. We know now that I can get through some serious stress on my own, he doesn’t need to stay home with me so much anymore. Kind of ironic, since we just extended the FMLA permissions. But this is cool. I can do things on my own, like be alone in the house when I am feeling unsteady, and not hurt myself. In fact, I find some things to do, I make myself busy, I distract myself. It doesn’t always work, and sometimes I just sit on the couch and rock back and forth, but that doesn’t do any harm. And it soothes me. I know it looks weird, and I try not to do it outside or in front of people, but usually can’t help it. If I’m feeling stressed or anxious, I rock, that’s it. And in front of people and outside is when I feel those things most.


Boo and Major were fighting over my lap a while ago, and I somehow got them both to lay down next to me and curl up and go to sleep. This is an epic win for me. Generally, those two aren’t happy unless they are in my face. To be fair, Major does have a paw up on one of my legs. With one errant claw lightly digging into my bare flesh. He loves me. Now he’s kicking me to stretch out, god, how adorable.


I wonder where the dog is? He must be on the patio. Since spring has sprung, he spends most of his free time out there. It’s kind of a relief because then he isn’t up in my lap and pushing the cats away. He’s really no trouble, he is just a constant presence that puts pressure on me to give. And I don’t always feel like giving. I have the maternal instincts of a rock.


24 Hours later . . . .


DH, my new online friend, posted a memory of her and her young daughter traveling across country on Route 66. And how beautiful it was. This is wan in 68. I didn’t ravel Rte. 66 until 2001, and a lot of it was just two lane road, but the places that were still populated were still cool, and it was a beautiful drive. I would do it again in a heartbeat.


Another lazy day. Doc insisted I get 8 hours sleep somehow. And I did, somehow. So that worked out.


Tomorrow, supplies come and I get back to work. Doc also returns to work tomorrow. So I can clean the house. I’ve made a mess of the living room. Completely trashed it with art supplies.


A sudden, and historically first really bad allergies in my life have destroyed my voice. I’m thinking of recording some poetry tomorrow, just to get this voice on record. It might sound interesting in playback, if it isn’t too bad. Today, it faded on me completely, that wasn’t good. Doc made me stop talking for a while. The whole thing is so funny. I’m not congested, I have no pain or swelling, my eyes aren’t itchy. I cough at night at have to take TussinDM, but other than that, nothing is wrong, my voice is just all borked. Go figure.


I think part of it could be the time that Felix has been spending sleeping on my face at night. I do have a low level allergy to cats. They just have to sleep on my face for me to feel it. It rained all weekend and it’s supposed to be warm/hot again next week, so I don’t expect this to get better soon. So I will record tomorrow before it gets any worse.


This week I am ordering the bleach and color for my hair. I’ve decided to go with a different color, as the one I previously had has become a bit too popular for my tastes. I looked for a nice dark green, but all I could find was neon and booger color. So, no green. Doc voted for Orange, bright, Leeloo Dallas orange. Cool, but not on my skin. I have a wig that color and it washes me out something terrible. I just started to get a slight bit of color on my face that isn’t red. I’d like to enhance that without actually spending too much time in the sun. Right now I sun myself between 7:30 and 9am. I’ll have to move that up an hour, but be careful because the sun gets more powerful around 10am. I used to be obsessed with tanning, as most pale teens of the 80’s living in Southern California were. I used to get sun poisoning or heat stroke on a yearly basis. Once, I laid out in cloudy weather, too cool to go in the ocean, and I almost ended up in the hospital with the burn I got.


Okay, bottom line, no green, or orange. Pink and magenta are out because they suck. I’m too old to do silver well. So next week, we will have a new hair color. For shits and giggles, I’m going to bleach it all, even the short parts and then just dye the long part. So for a while (like a day), it will look like I have blonde roots. I will be taking many pictures that day. Do I do my eyebrows the color? They have turned blonde on their own, so it would be a darkening of them. I just don’t know if I can pull off colored eyebrows. Even Miley Cyrus couldn’t pull off dyed arm pit hair, one must be careful what one is going to dye. And no, I am not going to bleach or dye my armpit hair. I’m going to shave it and just deal with the rash that results from being allergic to myself.


Which brings me to my legs. I don’t know what to do with them. The hair on the lower legs is light, now. But every time I shave, no matter what I do, even shaving with the grain instead of against it for a smoother shave, I get a bevvy of ingrown hairs. And I am a picker. So my legs are covered with little purple round scars. The hair camouflages it, but is not socially acceptable (in other words, embarrasses Doc. And I do not want to “tan” them, so the spots stay. And I look like a fuckin’ junkie when I shave my legs.


Doc is laying down to sleep, and he keeps snoring intermittently, and then wiggling his foot like he is trying to stay awake. That reminds me, I have to change the desktop, it’s a picture of Doc and it freaks him out. I had it up while he was gone because I missed him. Okay, that’s done.


Now it’s set to a piece of my art that I plan on framing and selling. Michael’s is always having online coupons for custom framing, and I figure an 8″x10″ canvas board with a 1″ dark green matte and glass in a simple pewter-look frame (which I will do myself, if I have to, the finish, I mean) shouldn’t add too much to the price of the art. It will just add a lot to the price of shipping it.


Wow, this is getting long. I think I will stop now. I will add The Link tomorrow. I’m still looking for something right. I have almost run out of book marks, so I’m looking for new and interesting things. Hey, go to the contact page and suggest a link. It can even be your personal or business link, if you want to associate it with me. I’ll post them. From you guys, sure.

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