Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

Dear Diary, I Lost Count of Days

He’ll be home in two. I know that.

They had the discussion of the future with mom, and she is accepting of it. But the people who are going to be caring for her until Sister gets her house renovated, will need to get a flush shower put in and their tub ripped out. So there will be some time of mom staying at home alone, with full time home health care.

Doc and I know from our recent experience that Medicare won’t cover it. No matter the physical condition of the patient. So I asked Doc if she had some alternate insurance to pay for it or would we have to help her out? He said that would have to be talked about. If he goes to work every day, we can contribute some money, but it won’t be enough and it will put off his trip back because we will need to save up for the plane tickets again.

He gets home Thursday at midnight, he will be home home by 3am. He has to be at work at 3pm the next day. That plus the 1.5 hour commute. At least he has the weekend off to get his head back together. As long as he can get through one shift at work. Then he can rest for two days. I’ll even cook for him.

Then, in a month or so, he will go back and pack up the house and get it ready for sale, I guess. And if he is bringing anything back, because he still has stuff in that house, he will be renting a van and driving it back. So he will be gone longer. With two weeks to plan ahead, Kelli will be out here for that staying with me. That will be fun. It will be warm, she will rent a car, we can go all over the place and take pictures. She’s a great photographer, I plan to load her up with cameras. The last time she was here, we spent the whole week at the Strip, but didn’t take cameras down any of the days, because we wanted to just soak it all in, not worry about framing and light.

So, even though he will be working more, money will still be tight. And here I was, hoping for at least plane fare back. But no one got that offer. I guess there is nothing to offer. I get it. They have been helping all of us kids for years, whittling away at their savings. And they are frugal, so I’m sure the life insurance was just enough to cover expenses for the funeral and cremation. And his pension, along with her Social Security, will pay for her upkeep and health expenses for the rest of her days, so that won’t be too hard on Doc’s sister’s family. Just finding the money to get the addition built on to the house and the renovations that need to be done. I don’t know about his brother, but I’m sure we’ll help with that, too. Which is good. It is good that the family came together and put aside their childhoods and bonded again. Everyone can help take care of mom, she will be okay, loved and well cared for. And her medical needs will be addressed immediately and thoroughly, she can continue to have a long life, surrounded by her only grandchildren. And she actually likes them.

But most of all, she will be in a loving home, he daughter’s. She won’t be in some impersonal place where she is alone and separate from everyone she knows and loves. And no matter how mean she is to me and Doc, she deserves nothing less than that. And I’m glad it isn’t going to be us. We don’t have the right kind of atmosphere to nurture her into her golden years properly. We just don’t have the emotional tools. Sister is the nurturing one. Best that it is left to her, and we can help out any way possible. Doc will have to call more, keep in touch. Small sacrifice. Considering the loss that led to this. The loss for everyone.

I feel like I’m talking in circles and nonsense like Sarah Palin. Oooooog.

Ack! I can’t believe I didn’t post this last night. I got busy talking to Doc. Everything is so complicated. Everything costs money. We will make this. We have to make this.


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