Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

Dear Diary, Feeling Better, Now

Dear Diary,

Now I have the music on and I’m feeling better. A bunch of things happened today that proved to me just how connected Doc and I are, that it transcends the physical. Just little things, but they have been happening since he left. Just thinking about him makes me smile, again. I told him that.

And he wasn’t going to call tonight, but he did, and at the same time I was looking up buying more minutes for my phone online, he suggested I buy more minutes for my phone so he could keep calling, and he would paypal me more money if I needed it. So, after I get what I need at the store, I’ll see how many minutes I can afford.

It’s funny, the new super-cigarette-stuffer that he got me is harder to use than the cheapo ones, I have to pick it up to cock it, so I can’t just sit down and roll a bunch of smokes. It takes muscles I’ve not used in a long time. So I’m actually only rolling a few at a time, and not smoking as much. Who knew? Doc wants me to either quit or switch over to vaping when he gets home. As I understand it, vaping is like hookah without the pain, but with all the flavor of something else. I’ll give it a try. If they have some kind of coffee flavor. I don’t want anything sweet or fruity. They have shops here dedicated just to vape pens and fillers. Should be interesting.

It’s funny, no matter where I start or shuffle my playlist, this 3 Doors Down song always plays within the first 20 songs. I don’t mind, or I wouldn’t have it on my list, I just think it’s strange. Funny strange.

Doc was telling me about the Kids’ plan to help Mom understand she can’t live alone. She keeps saying how she is going to rattle around the house all alone, and it will be strange having half the groceries and stuff. I just don’t know what to say. Please, Universe, let Doc and I go together.

I finally found the number pad on the new laptop. It is hidden in the alphabet keys. How completely flummoxing. I’ll just stick with the USB keyboard, thank you. I’ll get a cordless with lit keys at some point, but it’s not a priority.

I’ve bought enough materials for a while, I think I’ll make my next purchase equipment. I need the replacement battery pack and recharger for my Sony Mavica so I can start using it. I haven’t yet mastered the macro hack on the Cannons, and I really need to take close-ups of jewelry for the store, and the Mavica is up to it. It has a way better lens set than the Cannons. It came out before DSLRs, it was one of the first digital cameras that tried to be somewhat professionally useful. And it was, I used to use it to report on technology trade shows here in town for a digital journal. I found one review I did the other day. I apparently just saved the one, and didn’t use my photos with it, but the photo that came in the press packet, so not a great resume builder.

The Dog is sleeping on my pillow again. I’m glad I flipped it over to “dog side” before I left it alone. He thinks that pillow is for him, he gets resentful when I kick him off of it to use it. He’s really taking this Alpha not being home thing seriously. Peeing in the house today, what the fuck was that? Three hours after I yelled at him and put him on the patio, he was curled up, but he was still shaking. So I had to hold him and calm him down. Fucking dog. More damn neurotic than I am.

I don’t know what to do with the photo book I made for my father in law. I guess I’ll put it away and when Doc brings his stuff home in a month,  I’ll just put it in with that. I can’t believe I never got to give it to him. It would have meant so much to him that we thought to do it. It was pictures taken by the cats with their collar cam. It’s titled “The Real Las Vegas”. It’s short, 80 or so pictures. Some of it is captioned, but not much, because I wanted him to imagine his own stories to go with the pictures. I don’t think Doc ever thought it was good enough for his dad, somehow. I don’t know. I made it a couple of years ago, and hadn’t been able to send it because Doc always said it wasn’t the right time or holiday. I understand, but it still kind of hurts.

Hmmm . . . I wonder how much it would cost to do a book of cam pictures, they are small, so four or six would fit on a page . . . sleep pictures, I’m really into this Andy Warhol tribute idea, even though I’m not particularly partial to Warhol, his film “Sleep” is genius. I am fascinated by sleeping people, I just don’t know if anyone else is. So, around 1,000 photos, all mixed up. I’d have to go through and blur out the URLs imprinted on the photos, but that’s just part of the process. Maybe I’ll mess with that and get an estimate. Maybe I can auction one off or use it as an incentive for big ticket Patreon subscriptions. I have a feeling the book would cost upwards of $50 to print and totally not be worth it unless I did the whole thing myself in InDesign, and I don’t want to learn another Adobe program. I’m scared enough of Illustrator and Fireworks. InDesign might make my head explode, we don’t know.

So, I have two hours before I want to go to sleep. Should I do SEO? Or should I art? Or should I vacuum and then do one of those? I am so perplexed. I haven’t arted because what I really want to do, finish the jewelry, I can’t do until the cord gets here. So that all is in the middle of my workspace. I could create another workspace on the dropcloth and do that, I have the space. It will just be a soft surface, so, painting or gluing. I could make that platter and see if it turns out as cool as I think it will, or if it will just look horrible with the colors I was forced to use. I’m using up scraps, and I had a bag of small squares of colored card stock from the dollar store a few years ago, so I cut them up using a pair of ragged-edged scissors, into small strips and I plan to make a “confetti” and mod podge platter using them. A “broken glass” sort of thing. “On the Ragged Edge” patyware. If the platter works, I’ll make a chip bowl. I’m all about making bowls.

I forgot to spray paint today. There’s some stuff for the shop that needs to be black. Tomorrow, it’s going to rain. I’ll wait until Monday, I can do it while I’m fixing the studio, so the stuff can dry and come right into the work table. Which reminds me, I need to find a used filing cabinet that is in good shape. I have so much paper and ephemera, it would be nice to file it in categories instead of having it in loosely sorted plastic storage boxes. Plus the house files could really come out of my room and be in a real filing cabinet, instead of that dumb plastic file box they are in that is completely inadequate for being full of paper.

Enough talk, time for action, this will not be a wasted day.


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