Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

Dear Diary, Today is the Day

Dear Diary,

My rocking back and forth is getting worse by the housr. I hope I can hold still next week when Doc’s friend comes over. I don’t want to freak him out. Or his poor wife. Gah.

Doc is out running last errands. When he gets home, we pack him up and get him ready to go. We may have time to do a couple of things around the house, but that’s it. Time is running out, he will soon be gone. He wasn’t in time to see his dad, but I kind of consider it a blessing for him, that would have been much more painful to see his dad in pain. But he’s getting there for the moral support and taking care of business. He’ll be home in a couple of weeks. He’s saying a week, I’m being realistic. I know it takes longer than that just to pack up a house, let alone the arrangements and funeral and wake and everything. It takes time. I’m aware of that. I’m almost okay with it.

But it isn’t really real to me. It isn’t real that when I wake up at 3 or 4am tomorrow, he will be gone, and not coming back and not getting out of bed and coming down the hall. Yeah, I can’t wrap my head around that. I think I’ll sleep in his bed.

He brought me a new pillow. When he went to walmart to get toiletries, he picked up a huge new pillow for me. And right now while he is getting his luggage, he is getting my guitar, too. When I get paid in March, I’m getting strings and picks. Until then I will watch instructional videos and pick out the best ones. And I want to find an Anarchy symbol guitar strap. Skulls are over-used. It’s got to be anarchy symbols.

I’m going to go. I have lint to remove. I’ll write more later, I’m almost sure. And I will add the link later, I’m deciding between two right now and I don’t feel like deciding.



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