Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers
cydniey

Dear Diary, Help

Dear Diary,


The waiting, is indeed, the hardest part, Tom Petty. Something big, and important, and possibly devastating, and definitely life-changing has happened in Doc’s family. And it will be hours before I find out what and the possible implications.


Put bluntly, if one of his parents has died, this is effectively the end of our marriage. I will go to Pittsburgh with the animals and move in with Kelli, and he will go live with the survivor and care for them. I can’t live with either of his parents. He can’t take care of both me and one of them. So, there is that. I might be going back to Pittsburgh very soon. I can’t even comprehend the horror. I love Kelli and everything, but that city . . . I just can’t think of it, if I try, I can’t cope.


Here are the facts: Doc got a message from his brother-in-law of 35 years, who has never called him. Has never had a reason to. He told Doc to call him back ASAP and left his cell number instead of the home number. That is what I know. That is all I know. That, and Doc’s reaction to it.


“How he got nominated for this job . . .” he drifted off without finishing the thought.


He finally fell asleep. I am letting him sleep because I think he is going to need it today. When he wakes up, he will make the phone call. He didn’t want to call in the middle of the night when he got home from work. Oh, and it bears mentioning that there is only one place he could have gotten our number, which is kept from everyone. That would be at the homestead. So, he’s there. Not in New Jersey, where he lives. I also know that.


The rest is waiting and my mind going batshit crazy with possibilities. And I can’t envision any of them. Anything that affects our lives will disrupt it. And I can’t imagine any of that.


I’m scared, Dear Diary. Terrified. I’m sitting here, typing and smoking and having a grand old time in the morning, and my life’s path may be being permanently altered. If this is adulting, I want no part of it.

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