It’s okay to put on a mask and live in it for a while when your flesh is just too raw for the light of day. Other than that, I have nothing to add. I can’t cap the eloquence of Annie Lennox, or the concise reality of Duncan Jones, who had the horrible job of telling the world. “Golden Years” is my favorite song, has been for about 2 years. I’ve had various favorites at different points in my life that spoke to me.
I listened to “The Next Day” obsessively, and I feel I will do the same with “Lazarus” while I work on getting a copy of the script. I want to read and hear and absorb his requiem. Maybe as I hear him say goodbye, it will become real to me and the tears will finally come.
I know the picture of him on the front page clashes terribly. I can’t do Photoshop to fix it until tomorrow. But it’s one of my favorites from his youth. So it stays until I can fix it and get a border around it so the orange isn’t directly against the pink, that is pretty horrible, I have to agree.
Unlike with Robin Willliam’s death, and my complete avoidance of all coverage, it is the opposite with Bowie. I am devouring every tribute I can find. Christianne Ammanpour did a wonderful show-long tribute to him last night that was great. Informative, with new information I haven’t heard a thousand times and without the first dozen or so bars of “Space Oddity”. I’ll be really surprised if I can ever listen to that song again after the non-stop playing of the first line on every channel that covers his death. I’m actually starting to hate that song. They need to stop playing it and choose another from his canon. There are enough of them. 27 studio albums, there are other songs that encapsulate him.
I wished I had a record player yesterday. I pulled out all of the records I’ve bought new and collected used over the years. And I so wanted to put on my headphones and listen to them with the headphones on and relish in the skips and scratches from loving, if enthusiastic over-playing. I even have a couple of picture disks from the 80’s. One day.
I don’t have much more to say. I’m not going into my personal Bowie origin story, it’s the same or different than all the others. The important thing is that he and his music came into my life when they did, and I was open to them. He affected my life in ways I cannot express any better than 99% of people out there, who were equally, or more affected. I’ll miss him.
Rest in serenity, Starman. We will always love you. We will always sing you. We will always try to be more like you. And we will be happier for it.
No fair keeping your cancer a secret, though. We needed time with you. Fuck cancer.