Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

Happy New Year's Eve

The Member’s area, the PRH Store. That’s all that’s left. And that is going to be all new material. So I need more time to get that together. I’m feeling pretty good. Got the site done. Ready for the new year and whatever I can throw at it. I plan this year to do everything to boost traffic to it. The journal isn’t enough. I’m getting some referrals from FB, but none from Tumblr, or Twitter. Useless followers. I don’t even read that rag anymore. It’s been weeks. I got tired of the banality. You can only be that shallow for so long before it takes a toll on you. I was communicating to Doc in tweets, and he wasn’t getting it and it was frustrating him, understandably. So I had to break myself of that habit. It took three weeks off Twitter before I started speaking like a human again. It happened the day before yesterday. So, yesterday was an all around good day.

We’ve put extra effort into not having misunderstandings or meaningless disagreements. We’ve decided it takes more than the average effort, and it’s time we actively work on it. Because that is really where all the trouble comes from, little things that get blown up. So we’re working on not blowing up. It’s kind of funny the way we have a small spat and then separate for a few minutes then race to each other to apologize first. It’s not important who apologizes first, just that it happens. And whatever it was gets talked out. We may make it another 16 years.

That reminds me, our anniversary is on the 3rd. I will not forget it this year. I have champagne in the fridge for it. We decided we will celebrate New Year’s on the 3rd and put the celebrations together. Since he won’t be home for the fireworks tonight. He’s slept through them the past three years, so no real loss. And they will probably gather in the breakroom at work at midnight and watch the fireworks on TV.

I have to keep in mind the cardinal rule of cats: “If a purring cat comes to you and wants attention, you should drop what you’re doing and give it to them, because you are one lucky human being.” I’ve had five cats in my lap since getting up an hour and a half ago. The other two rarely come to me. Now I have three of them and the dog surrounding me on the couch, including one half in my lap. Makes typing a challenge.

I got up early tonight. I got up at 1am instead of 3am. So I have two hours to kill before starting my scheduled work. I’m listening to music and cruising my site feeling good about myself. I can’t wait to see it on Doc’s new phone. Yes, he got a new phone. It had been two years, and his was broken, some buttons (like the “back” button) didn’t work anymore. His new one has no physical keyboard (ack), and a huge screen. It is, in fact, all screen. I wonder if it has a front-facing camera. That would be cool. Selfie-o-rama. Not that anyone will see them, I’m just documenting my weight loss. Keeping my hair back so I can see my face. Watch my cheekbones reappear. Be careful that the eye bags don’t come back. I got scary when I was anorexic. It was my driver’s license picture that finally did it. It is terrifying. I have no hair, and no body fat on my face/neck. I do not look good at a skull. And because I have a big Swedish head, I had lollipop-syndrome, my head was bigger than the rest of my body, scary looking. So, I don’t want to get there. Even though I loved my body, the parts that showed, like my wrists and elbows and shoulders and head were just too frightening and bony. I got teased a lot.

FB did a year in review in photos. Doc looked at them and didn’t like any of the ones that FB picked. They had chosen all of the heavily filtered ones that made me look thinner, or heroin chic. Doc tells me I look “healthier” now. That is Good Husband-speak for “heavier”. He’s so cute. He likes me kind of big. I don’t like it, though, and I don’t feel anything near sexy. It’s bad enough with my teeth, but to have the rest of my body not look good, it disturbs me. And I can’t feel romantic.

I just remembered a dream I had about Doc, where I said some embarrassing things. I really hope it was a dream. I tell him nearly everything. Not stuff that will disturb him, but other stuff. He has so much blackmail material on me. I have not been a good person in my life. I have tried, but trouble used to find me. Usually because of my lack of sight of the bigger picture and my ability to talk nearly anyone into nearly anything. But a lot of stuff I was blamed for, I didn’t do. And a LOT of stuff I did, I never got caught for. I usually don’t get caught, I have this weird need to confess things. So I usually cop to whatever I did, so long as federal laws weren’t broken. I think I’ve told Doc nearly every underhanded thing I ever did against him. I don’t know what it is. My Jiminy Cricket is really insistent.

Bill Cosby got charged. Hm. Still using his tarnished fame to try to hide behind bluster of attorneys. That does it for news today. Not interested. So many rapist go free. It’s legal in this society. My dad, Evil Man, that guy in college. Nothing ever happened to them. They are living their lives just fine. I just don’t care anymore. There is no punishment for crimes against women. Sometimes, sure. Not enough to make any kind of difference.  Rape and incest are not going away in this country, and fanatic right wingers have embraced it as a family value, incest and wife rape. It’s all okay. Don’t spare the women. Fucking pirates.

See, now that got heavy. No more of that.

Jem, the new laptop, gets here today. And no, I didn’t name it after Jem the cartoon rockstar (Kelli), I named him after the brother of Scout Finch. The next machine, when that happens, will be Atticus. Seeing a theme here? And my headphones will be here today, too. I have to get the extra USB hub out and hook it up, and get the disks out that I need to install stuff. That way, I’m ready when it gets here. Windows 7, did I mention that? So I can get straight to work, setting it up for audio and video recording. I may put Photoshop on it, yeah, since I can edit video in it, I should have it for quick, precise snippets. And I am definitely moving my music over there. This laptop just shut down for the first time in a week, editing in here and playing music. Not cool, Bollux.

Doc will be playing his Pot Farm game again, so anyone who plays that with him, anticipate his return. I swear, I bought Jem just so he could game. Oh well. When he’s not up or around, I can go back to tutorials on one laptop and work on the other. So much easier than switching between windows/screens. And, if I must, the music on the Drone. With the extension cable to my headphones that I ordered, they will reach over to the Drone with no problems or tangles. Kind of like when I streamed, I had the one machine streaming, the other machine monitoring the stream and the Drone playing the music. I was unaware at the time that no audio was recording. The microphone in Scout never worked. And the microphones I hooked up to it didn’t work, either.

Oh, I have to get my stickers out, too. Since Jem is scratch-and-dent, I’ll want to cover any imperfections with decorative stickers. Well, I know where my foam spider webs and spider stickers are, so I’ll use those. And maybe a scooter parts decal, it’s rockin’. Doc said I could have them. They came with his big part of something. And he has no interest in putting them on his scooter. Ok, spider webs and scooter stickers for Jem. That will be cool. I’ll find a skull sticker to add to it eventually. It will be my rock/goth laptop. The Drone is covered with tattoo parlor stickers and promotional stickers for DJs here in town. It was my rave machine. I guess it still is. I use it for music, it still has the stickers (which is why I took it back from B, I had no idea I’d be able to make it work again), and a big piece of orange safety tape holding the lid open because it opens too far. And it has all manner of shit plugged into it. A monitor, a scanner, a keyboard, IR cordless mouse, two USB flash drives, and a firewire for the pet cam and the mp3 player. That’s two different “firewires”. I don’t know what else to call them.

“And what do you call the black kitten with the stripe over her eye?”

“Dickhead-Teeny, and she’s not a kitten, she’s two and a half, so she’s old enough to know why she’s a dickhead.”

I video her when she is cool and good and cute. But she is the devil. Sleeping over there, there’s supposed to be no rest for the wicked. I’m here to tell you, on Dickhead-Teeny’s behalf, that is a lie. She is resting well.


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