Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers
cydniey

Evil Corp Strikes Again

Doc has jury duty this morning. He just got off a 9 hour shift. And he has time to pound a Rock Star and take some aspirin and rush out the door for the two hour commute downtown walking and busing. He can't take his bike because he can't take the seat in with him for the 9 hours he will be there, to deter theft. I gave him the freshly charged Kindle with some recommendations of things I have loaded onto it that he might be interested in.

Evil Corp made him work the 8 hours leading up to jury duty. By law, they are required to give him the 8 hours before jury duty off, so he can be fresh for sitting all day. So, his supervisor, whom he adores, has committed a gross misdemeanor, according to the very plainly written Employer Responsibilities. So they only have to pay him one day for jury duty. When they should have given him last night off as well as tonight and paid him for both. They cheated him. And he won't even get angry because adored supervisor.

I spent the night trying to figure out why I seem incapable of using "masks" in Photoshop. I found this one tutorial, promised to be just a few minute thing. The keyboard commands were written for MAC. Though I can usually decipher them, because of my lack of ability to properly get a layer mask to work, I don't know if I have translated the keyboard commands properly and all of the CS6 books just assume you already know how to use masks. Right. I just used the "dodge" and "burn" tools this morning for the first time to touch up a photo of me taken in really bad light. I had to correct a shiny forehead and glowing nose. I did pretty well for myself.

But this layer mask thing. Argh. I'm taking an hour off, and watching NCIS and getting stoned. I've been sober all night so I retain some of the pages and pages of Photoshop material I was reading. I read excerpts from the "Photoshop Bible 6" and the most recent "Photoshop for Dummies", both the book and the website annex. I do not see where I am going wrong. I set the same presets, I push the same buttons at the same times, I click on what I'm told to click on, and my final product is nothing like the final product on the screen. No matter how hard I try. I checked to see if "Quick Mask" was turned on, it was not. I set and reset the default colors. I searched preferences and tools.

I was having a hard time with the background eraser earlier. It wasn't doing what it was supposed to be doing. And I know it isn't the software, it is me, because a couple of times I have actually accomplished what I set out to do quite by accident, so I know it is possible. I just don't see what I'm missing. So some Gibbs and Abby will distract me, and I actually will get stoned, because that is the only way I've broken open the secrets of Photoshop before. I'm convinced the designers and programmers were stoned when working on it, and that is truly the only way to completely come to an understanding with it. The more complicated each version gets, and with each new weird tool or filter they dream up, I become more convinced of my theory.

I have this photo of me, and I want to use it as my Author Picture, both on my site, and on the backs of books that I publish. The look on my face is priceless. But it is small, and it is dark, and it was taken by a web cam of questionable integrity. So I had to do a lot of fixing and messing about to get the picture twice as big and in a printable DPI, and still hold the je ne se quais that I love about it. I did one version where I took the color out of it and added back in my eyes and lips. That's a cool one, but there are so many other techniques I want to try before I pick one.

I spent two hours cutting out a photo of me in college, the first time. Goth goth goth goth goth. I cut out the spikey hair (I never want to do that again, I had to rebuild a lot of it with the paintbrush, which I hate using because I tremble so much). It turned out well, I managed to get rid of almost all of the ghosting of the old background and as long as I use it on light backgrounds, no one will ever notice. It was worth the work. I am looking to the side, in profile, very pale with very dark eyes and very red lips. And very black hair in my eyes. Now that it is cut out I can use it for cool double exposures and "writing" pictures, where you fill in the subject with text in various sizes and fonts, if you desire. A very time consuming project that I promised I wouldn't try until I had the perfect picture for it. Now I do. I have four tutorials for this technique. I plan to read them all and try the easiest first.

Okay, Doc is on his way to the courthouse until 5, which means he will be home in 12 hours. What am I going to do first? I can watch any crap TV I want. Muah hah hah.
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