I've spoken recently of a teddy bear I have that I don't like, as teddy bears go, but it has sentimental value to me; and of an ornate frame, in less than perfect condition; and black spray paint. The picture above is the inspiration for my madness. A few differences, because I am not into copying things exactly. It will be black. The bear is black, and I prefer black, so it shall be black. I also think I have some textured black fabric to cover the back board of the frame that the bear will be attached to. I have ordered silver foil, and will apply it randomly around the frame, to add some sparkle, everything in my room needs to have a bit of sparkle, because black. I am also surfing around looking for a swing, or a stool that I can attach to the backboard because the bear is in a sitting position. So, something simple and light. I could probably get a scrap of wood from Home Depot and drill a few holes and string some twine through it and make the swing myself, everything I find online is far too complicated. I just need something to support the butt of the bear. Yeah, I'll make one myself. That way I don't have to measure and order and wait and alter and shit. There's no rush, as I have also mentioned, the frame is going to be the hardest thing to come up with. Even crap frames of similar style and complexity in design are over $50 on ebay, plus shipping. That is way out of range of what I am willing to pay.
I'm going to start collecting those bags of random toys from the Dollar Store. Cowboys, soldiers, dinosaurs, zoo animals. Turns out if you cover an ugly, plain frame with those and then spray paint the whole thing the same color, it looks amazeballs.
I've decided when I re-do my site, I'm going to open up a store on it. Just a small affair, with ever changing things I make. And sometimes art or photography packs. But I've thought about it for a couple of years now, and selling off-site isn't doing it for me. The only people that buy from me are people who know me. Best to keep it all centralized. It would be better if I could control the steering of the "customer", or Patron, as I think of people who buy my art and handicrafts. It's going to involve learning the tiniest bit of code, but I'm sure I can handle it.
Doc announced today, as if I knew very well, that we ARE getting the Latuda refilled at the end of the week. We had a kind of soft-spoken blow-up and I ended up showing him my legs out of spite (all bandaged up) and he demanded an explanation. So I told him that his rage yesterday had triggered the thing that had happened between us a couple of years ago where I got hurt. He said, yeah, well, I was making him feel like he was living with his mother. So apparently me being his mother trumps the "r" word. Now I know where I stand. I was just supposed to get over it. Good to know it didn't affect him to add a new descriptor to his personality.
So, I think with our new "sleeping in our own rooms" arrangement, instead of sleeping on our own couches in the living room and being around each other all the time, we will have much needed time away from each other. I know that I need time away from him. I'm really fucked up right now. Yes, the Latuda is working fine, thank the Universe I have it, because otherwise I'd be dead. I am so completely immersed in the crisis feeling. I keep pushing it down and down, and then I'm doing something an hour later and I realize that I am crying. It doesn't always hit you when it happens. Sometimes it takes a while for it to get through the firewalls and encryption in your brain to get in and release the malware.
His supervisor at work confirmed his claim that springy steel scrubby things leave marks in glass bowls. Those things fuck up metal, plastic, and now glass. Who the fuck invented these things and what are they meant to be used for? Since everything I was ever taught about them is apparently wrong.
And I am no longer allowed to use the kitchen bowls in the melting of anything not food. Doc didn't realize that I had used them years ago to make record bowls, he thought I was using a metal bowl (much easier to scratch up, BTW) as a double boiler sort of thing or something. The process he described to me might work in an alternate universe, but wouldn't according to our laws of physics. He had no idea at all. So now I can't melt anything until he buys me nesting bowls. At a thrift store. A complete set of nesting mixing bowls. I will never melt anything again. He even got bent about using the custard cup to melt the CDs, though I was using the OUTside of the custard cup. Rarr!
