Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

Mr. Robot

If you haven't been following this show, 10pm Wednesday nights on USA, tonight is the finale. Far too early for my liking, but it is what it is. In spite of the "American Psycho" and "Fight Club" overtones, I really like it. When it was about to start, I read several nerdy articles that claimed it would be the one "hacker" show that didn't make programmers cringe (like CSI:Cyber, or NCIS, etc.). Doc and I watched the pilot On Demand before it appeared on USA at least 5 times. I have stayed loyal to the show. Going so far as to shut my computer off when it is on, so I don't get distracted. I identified immediately with the main character, Elliot, because he had some kind of severe mental illness that has been revealed slowly over the season. But he makes it work for himself. In a way. It does all fall apart at one point. But it's a T show, it has to. I recommend it.

There is a new site for writing long entries and sharing them. It is called "Medium". The elite of my web world are flocking there. I'm going to pass on this one. I took my chances on I somehow got an early invitation to be an administrator of my own "Place" on Not real sure what it will evolve into, I just know I got the opportunity through Little Monsters, Lady Gaga's site. That I have signed up for, but never participated on. I never really felt like a Little Monster. So, I'm staying here for now. There may come a time when I leave here. I don't want to, because I don't think most of you will follow me. And I like having you around (in my mind, there are thousands of you, mostly Russian speaking). Frankly I have so many social media accounts going, it is like work making posts for them all. Each one has a different crowd. And I'm preparing to eventually launch a new website that I am going to want people to come to. I have decisions to make.

That brings me to my limitations. This laptop. Right. Lilliane gave me a line on the big brother of this model I have, with a quad core processor (I have a dual core in this). Right in my budget. When Doc woke up, I brought it to his attention. Showed it to him, and let him know that the price was a limited time thing. Expiring tonight. And while he went to WallyWorld today to purchase the one I found last night, he was reluctant on this new one with the limited time price. He felt it was somehow shady that it was a limited time thing - I don't know, he wasn't making sense, it was a special deal on a refurbished model on, you really don't get any more reputable than So I backed off and started watching Rachel Maddow and let him wake up fully.

But then he started acting out and going on as if I were pressuring him, instead of complaining about Rachel's frequent use of the word "Trump" and lack of the use of the phrase, "Candidate Douchenozzle". He started getting really shitty with me (not Trump, Doc), and I just went outside until he went and took a shower. Then I was all about getting him the hell out of the house as quickly as possible.

Okay, the guy on Chris Hayes just said, "Marching through the Hindu Cush." I'm afraid the dear professor has just revealed his favorite strain of ganja on the air while trying to describe soldiers marching with unclear orders. And looking at him? I'd toke up with him.

I am also feeling betrayed by Doc because when I brought up Stuxnet last week, he didn't even mention Flame. Which is malware used by Israel (well, they were the ones that got caught using it), developed by the US in cooperation with Israel for cyberwarfare against Iran's nuclear program. It was used after Stuxnet, but is said to have been developed before Stuxnet (they share code). It was meant for Israel and the US to use together, but Israel jumped the gun and got busted using it, rendering it useless. Until it came back as Stuxnet. Thing is, I can find out all manner of stuff about Stuxnet, easy to search, even stuff that was meant to stay on the deep web has, by now somehow been indexed by Google and resides now on the surface web (it's been a few years since this stuff happened). Harder to find info on Flame because the boys at Kaspersky gave it such a mundane word for a name.

Why am I interested? I don't know. Both of my allies have asked me, "What ever happened to you becoming a hacker?" I've been thinking about it a lot. What happened? Math happened. The coding started to intimidate me. I am scared shitless of math. I just do not get it. The code started to resemble complicated equations and would overwhelm me. Contrary to what the TV says, malicious code does not show up in red in a sea of green safe code. You have to look at it all. And be able to analyze that. Like the guys in the Matrix who look at the scrolling screens of symbols and translate it in their minds into 3 dimensional images. I got to the point, very quickly, where I would look at a page of code, that I wrote, and completely freeze up. Now, 15 years later, I'm wondering if I can't channel some kind of inner prodigy and take another whack at it. My shrink says that I should find comfort in the code, in the order and stability. No one's worried about me going rogue, or "black hat", because I am always being monitored. I just want to learn something. And I'm growing tired of Beat Literature. I have Nerd Potential that I am not living up to.

I have to do it for something, though. Maybe to make a Fabulous Disaster app. What it would do, god only knows. But it's a goal. I kind of own the brand, just by having the .com for so many years. Only bands use the name, it used to be an all girl punk band from SFO, but they broke up a few years ago. Now it's some hillbilly looking band. If they would contact me and say Hi, I would gladly put a redirect link on my front page for them. I used to do that for another band, and forward missent fan emails.

I was just thinking I should get up and do my chores. But I did them all, already. Last two days. Did them all during the day. Maybe I should make something to eat. I have bacon/egg/cheese croissants, and fresh guacamole I made. That would work, though that is what I had last night. Yes, I want guacamole. I'm in no mood for chips, so no nachos. Bacon/egg/cheese it is. One hour, 20 minutes to Mr. Robot.

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