Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers
cydniey

Alien Landscape

Here's a fun fact: you can learn more about me with a Google search than you can with a paid background search. I was a little surprised that both my birth name and my name name are completely off the grid. Nada, nothing. No past addys or phone numbers, no possible relatives, nothing. I told Doc about it and he didn't seem surprised. I could also swear I could see him with just the faintest smile. I love his extended family. They are fun. Well, no, they are deadly serious people, with Very Important Jobs that I know nothing about. But for me, they are fun. Now, even when Evil Man (as we will from now on refer to my rapist/father of my adopted child) bothers to look at who has checked out his linkedin page and sees my name, if he does a Google, he will find my web presence, but he won't find any private information about me.

Both domains are owned by ZenWeb Media, and if they do refer back to a human, it is Doc, and there is no finding him. Not online, not off. Everything leads back to him, as a matter of fact. Since I was declared less-than-human by the US Govt. I am protected under a very cool umbrella.

So there should be no ill effects from my doing my little investigation last week. Nigel is safe, I am safe. Evil Man has his own life and his own son now and his own set of lies. All is well and good. And if Nigel ever comes looking for me, he will never find Evil Man. That's the way I wanted it. And now that I know that's how it is, a huge weight is lifted off of me. I feel so free.

I hate the picture I painted last night. I don't know if it's an aesthetic thing or if it's because it was a part of a recurring hallucination. My feelings about it are conflicted. In many ways, I hate how juvenile my art is. It's embarrassing to me. My use of bold colors against muted ones screams "no training", but I have had training. I just don't follow the rules. I create what I see. Especially if others can't see it. I guess that has value in itself. Maybe I'll make another one just for fun tonight. Get the iron out and destroy some crayons to make an alien landscape.
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