Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers
cydniey

Higher heads prevailing . . .

I don't know how I was even entertaining the below idea after finding out he had an online presence. That was a giant sheet metal stop sign attached to a thick ass brick wall. It was originally conceived (no pun intended), as a small part of a larger open letter to the GOP. But I don't need to out him to make the same impact with my story. I have some peace of mind knowing he is nowhere near me, and he really is the person I remember him being. That those parts went delusion because I wasn't getting treatment at the time. That he really is a sociopath and really did take repeated advantage of my illness and my upbringing, he's still lying to everyone, and so poorly I can wander n and tear it apart with what little I really do know about him. That's fine. Nigel is safe from him. If there is any justice in this Universe, he wasn't damaged by being brought up by mormons and having such a dismal gene pool.

Was that all one sentence? Sorry. We were endowed with medical grade produce. After six months of our watered down version. And I just did ten hours of work in five (I swear I am not on speed, I know I kid about it, but no, I gave that up in college) and ultimately got Clammr releases queued up through the 1st. I would go on social media and apologize for the Soundcloud link explosions, but fuck 'em, I did it late at night so as not to mess with anyone's vibe. And I got 22 listens to several pieces over 3 hours. For me, that is not bad at all. I have 1 follower on Soundcoud. In over a year. Yep, I've needed to pay more attention to this for long time.

There, I did it again, I have to stop writing right now. And I am not reading any more facebook or twitter because news tonight. We are watching Graham Norton re-runs on BBCAmerica. He has no clue what's going on, and, seeing how nothing is going on here except me letting go of some baggage by the side of the road, Doc doesn't need to kow. It would hurt him deeply to know that I was "torturing" myself, as he would call it, and I don't want to hurt him deeply. I can do this on my own and with a little help from Kelli tomorrow, when I will call her and confess all.
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