Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

Well, bollocks.

I've been in a life or death struggle with Windows 7 here on this laptop for the last few hours. right through my cyber meeting with CR. My initial intent after our meeting was to paint. I have the paints and the canvas and all the stuff laid out on a dropcloth on the living room floor, ready to go. I wanted to capture it with the webcam. Initially, I wanted to broadcast live, then I just wanted to capture it to use for a video. ChillCam wouldn't work on the drone and the camera wouldn't work on this laptop. I tried everything. I am now installing three years worth of Windows updates. I really hope it doesn't fuck things up.

I also discovered that I have no Windows Help on here. That's what I get for using legit software. I get screwed. Hopefully the updates will fix that. They may even find a driver for the 3Com cam, though I doubt it. I should try my Logitech cams, they likely still have support. No one supports the 3Com anymore. Logitech is usually good at keeping up with their shit like drivers.

So, tomorrow I paint. After I go through my new poetry and pick out some pieces I want to record, and want to see if anything inspires CR. Then I'll post the text to my website in a secret folder. He liked the balance between voice and music in "From the Vicious to the Rotten", and picked out the same imperfections in the voice recording that were vexing me because I didn't know how to fix them. He gave me suggestions. But he also put forward that I seem to be holding back, likely due to a lack of audience and relationship with the lifeless mic in front of me. So true. All of it, true. My recordings are nothing compared to my live work. I use the audience to fuel my performance. Years of drama coaching and classes have made me a fabulous actress. What I need to do is let myself go in a solitary recording environment. That will take practice, and a great deal of Xanax and pot. The mic, though small and unassuming, intimidates me. The mic on stage doesn't. It's just a thing I've got to work on to improve my performance.

I felt better after my nap today. I just needed to recharge. Then there was getting Doc out of the house and to work. He is down to his mountain bike/bus combo to get to work. The big-ass truck is in its death throes. Both scooters are sitting, untouched, at B's. And B is still blowing him off. I'm getting so sick of it. J keeps trying to upsell Doc with her pseudo-science "health" products for me. A pack of belly-fat-reducing "wraps" is $60. The price for an hour of recording studio time just off the Strip is $60, with a producer. Which do you think is my priority? I can't afford either, but if I won $10,000 and had $60 to spend, you'd better believe it would be on studio time. I can lose the weight any time. Just start taking trucker speed again. Legal speed. Ephedrine. I have to sell my soul to get it at the pharmacy, but it's worth it to trim a few pounds. And it doesn't interfere with my meds.

So, I'm thinking of playing a game on Twitter tomorrow night. A trivia quiz on cult movies and TV shows. I have a feeling I will be talking to a room full of people with their backs turned on me, and I won't get any answers, but I'm going to try. The prize will be the link to the new version of "Vicious". Sometime this week, I will also post the link to my fan page on Facebook. I have 30 or so followers there. I don't post there much because Facebook throttles fan and business pages like frat boys on a drunk 19 year old. But I'll put it up there anyway and maybe a couple of people will get it.

I didn't get time to read anymore of the Patreon site. I plan to read everything about the site and the project and see if it is right for me, or if my social circle is just too small for it to be worth it to me at this time. One of the more popular rewards for patrons are live google+/youtube hangouts. That scares me. Being on cam, talking, with my lack of tooths. I don't know how into that I am. Unless I wear a bandanna over my nose and mouth and Doc's straw cowboy hat. That will work the first time. A veil isn't really my style. A hiquab? A burka? Maybe a funny mask? Take it and use it. Don't be afraid of it. Own it, it's you. It makes you different from everyone on first laugh. And how punk rock are missing front teeth?

Oh! I have ice cream! Time to go! Good night!

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