Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers
cydniey

Some one remind me the point, again?

I woke up cough-screaming at 3:30am. I didn't fight it and just got up and got dressed and took my meds. I made a fresh pot of coffee and changed into my sleeveless black flannel shirt.

Doc will get home around 6:30am. He will piss around outside and make something to eat. Then he will sit down and struggle to stay awake while playing on the computer. If he gives in to sleep, he will make some excuse and a vague promise to take me to the doctor when he wakes up in the late afternoon. Why always so complicated? This is a big red flag, he no longer cares about my well-being.

Tell the doctor about the hallucinations. So, what, he can take me off Seroquel and put me on some really harmful drug, or some drug that turns me into a zombie? Is that really what Doc wants? Just an excuse to get me out of here and into a group living situation.

Maybe that's what all this is about. He's washing his hands of me, it's just slow going because I am the motor oil in his callouses.

The harder I try, at ANYthing, I fail, or I fail to do it right.

Some one remind me the point, again?
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