Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers
cydniey

Get this cat off me!

If every day could be like today, my life would be golden. We ended it with a fire in the fire pit. Doc put the top two feet of a dead xmas tree in the pit and it all took off at once. The sparks all rose straight up like fireworks. It was amazing. We sat there and shared a smoke and he sipped whiskey and I sipped coffee. Now he's asleep and I just took my meds to do the same.

Gave up listening to Madonna obsessively, and moved back to "Songs of Innocence". And the various live versions of the songs I've been able to collect. This will calm me for sleep.

One of my favorite and most talked about movies, "A Knight's Tale" is on. Doc hates it, so the volume is muted, which is why I'm listening to U2.

I put a mobile friendly "START HERE" button on my "audience participation" (fabulousdisaster.com/writing) page. It occurred to me that the letters were really too small to negotiate on a phone, which is what most people access Twitter on. DUH. I may make a big, gaudy button. God, I fucking hate smart phones. Doc's is possessed. One day it works fine and the next, it decides that it doesn't have certain features, like "back" and "home".

I like my phone, though I would like to be able to initiate texts on it. I can receive and answer texts, just can't send a fresh one out of nowhere. There is nothing smart about my phone. No camera. No touch screen. No custom ring tones. No memory to speak of. Four background screens to choose from. 8 sound profiles to choose from, ranging from "really annoying" to "destroy phone by any means necessary". I'm happy with it. No one has any expectations of me with this phone. 250 minutes a month means no gabbing. It's nice.

You know, I've been posting these graphic pieces or even whole, poems without my name or copyright on them. How fucking stupid can I be? I need to be watched closely. I am not capable of being a good business woman, no matter my intentions. That's why Doc and I have arranged for him to be Conservator of me if something happens and I trip into money. I couldn't handle that. I don't trust myself in a situation like that at all.

I'm listening to "Iris" (Hold Me Close), and it's about Bono's mom, from what I gather. And I just wish I had someone like that in my life. How would it feel to actually have those feelings for my female creator? I can't even fathom it. Aside from brief stints of trying really hard, I can't remember a time when I didn't loathe my mother. She was in charge and things were not right, and I blamed her for everything that went wrong.

I wonder if I can sleep on my back so I can leave my headphones on. Probably not. I'll just find the Simpsons channel.

The Obligatory Song Quote:
"If I open my eyes, you disappear."
&
"I don't believe anymore.
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