Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

I think I need to listen to some U2

As I sit staring at the keyboard . . . .

This week has been . . . off. I plan to ask my shrink about a popular Alzheimer drugs to help with my memory. So far in my web searching, that's all I've found as a solution. I already take one companion med to counteract the hungries that the Seroquel causes. Though it didn't save the half bag of mint truffle Hershey's Kisses the other night. I don't even remember eating them, I just found the little foils wadded up in my ashtray the next morning.

And that's where my problem is, memory. The confusion and the disconnected speech is okay with me, as long as I'm talking to Doc or Kelli. But the memory thing is really, what's the word, bad. I read about memory issues starting in doses as low as 25mg of Seroquel. According to patients, it hits hard at 50mg. I'm taking 800mg, for a comparison. The legal limit allowed by the FDC.

And this has to work. There is only one medication out there left is a very scary one, Thorazine scary. Haldol scary. And after that one, I am officially treatment resistant, and I don't want to be that. They do some medieval shit to treatment resistant schizophrenics. Like going back into ECT treatment. Only long term. So we'll just say that the Seroquel is working. But the memory is not.

For example, how in the actual fuck is it Friday? I was just on Sunday. And now a whole week is gone.

Something else that has been bothering me, why do I grunt every time I get up? I this "growing old"? I'm not a fan. I don't mind the little meaningless aches and pains, but the grunting is really ugly.

Some artsy type people have been following me on Twitter. So I've been posting my work. Photos, videos, recordings. Waiting to get my 15 minutes. Still.

I think I need to listen to some U2.

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