Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

Xmas Eve

I got dismissed right out of a twitter convo last night. With the simple line, "She's schizophrenic, so her arguments are invalid". I called the tweeter a bigot and told her to fuck right off, but, damage done. That's never happened to me before. At least not out loud "to my face". People decide that in silence or behind my back, but never right to me.

I'm beginning to wonder if my twitter profile isn't a detriment to me, but I don't want to change it. "Schizoaffective: Schizophrenia on the rocks, with a Depression or Bi-polar chaser. Gene's choice." is what it says now. Profile picture is lilac Doc Martens (I got tired of having my looks mocked, I never thought of myself as ugly, but a lot of people on the internet disagree). Header is I think, petunias. I took the pic at the nursery last spring. It went with the background I had and the picture of the boots. Nice and neutral.

But if it is somehow making people think of me as less than a whole person and someone they can just bully around, I've got a surprise for them. I will not be bullied. I will not be pushed around. Being schizophrenic brings me two very important gifts: higher intelligence than the norm, and amazing creativity. People either don't know that, or forget that. It's the schizophrenics who take to crime who get away with serial crime for so long because people underestimate one. One-off attacks that are fast and sloppy usually involve some other kind of mental disorder. Usually, there are, of course, exceptions.

Even when I'm frustrated with my illness, I consider it a super power. I have massive ego about it. Not about how I've handled it, or how I've let it manhandle me.But where I am now.

I've got to get my cookie making on. It just won't be Xmas Eve if I can't glut myself on cookies.

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