Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers
cydniey

A Day in the Life of a Shut-In

It's almost midnight and I'm still up, still unmedicated. And I have no plans to change that any time soon. Why? Because I have my period, and I need a larger size tampon than I have. What I have lasts about an hour and a half. The larger size lasts all night. So I can't go to sleep until I get the larger size. Doc has been putting off getting them, forgetting them, he's got a lot of stuff going on. And tonight before he was going to leave, his habit of not turning the light on in his room bit him in the ass.

Actually, it bit him in the hand and knee, which is what he landed on when he tripped over something, I think it was a black cat or other. So he took the shower he went in to take and then came out here and ate dinner and kept ice on his hand. Then he fell asleep. Because it was way past his sleep time. And since I want him to keep close to his schedule, I won't wake him up. So I'm just sitting here, watching SNL, playing "What Cat is Meowing Now?".

Boomer spent the whole day out on the couch with me today. I was laid up with cramps, so I tweeted all day. And Boomer was here, either on my lap, or next to me, leaning on my leg. Major got all bent out of shape about it and isn't letting me pet him right now and isn't speaking to me. I cannot get him to make a peep, when usually I am trying to get him to shut up. Chewy is jealous as all get out, too. So I try to be aware of that, and when Boomer is asleep, call Chews up next to me to lay down and pet his belly. Then he chews on my hand for a while and all is right with the world.

So, I've been really good with walking him every day. Between a certain set time every day, I take him out on a route he knows by heart and leads on, so I don't get lost if I get disoriented. I also keep my phone, keys, and ID with me. We heard that the one of the pair of cops that patrol our big circle of a neighborhood is a Purple Badge. That means he has the special extra training and certification to work with the mentally, shall we say, impaired. I think it's because the house up on the corner houses two seniors that are not relatives of the owners of the house. Both have some form of dementia, or mental illness. I think the male may be OCD and on the Autism spectrum. I'm not sure about the woman, though, she's just not, I don't want to say "right", but properly functioning, may be a better way to put it. She spends daylight wandering around our neighborhood aimlessly in circles talking to herself or listening to her headphones and singing loudly.

Anyway, they've been in the neighborhood for a while. And I think there might be some kind of halfway house on the opposite side of the circle from me. So I lucked into a neighborhood where my cop is trained to deal with me. If I call 911, the guy who answers the call will be trained to handle me, I won't have to hide behind the couch for someone to get here because regular cops showed up.

See, I'm really easy to take advantage of. I am so terrified of confrontation, that I will just blow things off that sometimes are very important to keep tings simple and keep the person I'm talking to happy and liking me. Mike knew this and completely played me and ended up getting kicked out when Doc figured out what he'd done. B did it to me with Xanax. He would get a couple of tabs from Doc, unknown to me, and then get a couple off of me. When Psycho Cunt lived here, she did the same with my Vicodin. I'm embarrassed to say how many I gave her. And still she stole more of them from me.

So people who meet me in real life, they mistake my acquiescence and generosity for weakness. Which, I suppose it is. But it isn't supposed to be. It's just the way that I am. Push me hard enough and I will snap like a rabid dog on you. I did with Mike, I tore him apart verbally. I destroyed a $400 TV just so he couldn't have it back. I verbally pushed him into physically getting involved with his anger, and at that point, it was over for him. Once I told Doc he body slammed me in front of the cable guy, living here was over for Mike.

I haven't flipped the fuck out on B simply because of Doc. They have a business thing going on. I respect that and don't want to do anything to mess it up.

Doc always feels he has to intervene, between me and the world. And for the most part, that's a good thing. It was kind of icky when The Boys still lived here and we were going through that really rough patch. All they heard was Doc bitching about me for a year. They hated me, but were so two-faced about it. All sweet to me when they came over. Getting me peppermint chocolates for Xmas.

Oh, now Doc is starting the wake up process. I should be able to go to bed by 3am.
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