I can't talk about what I've been doing the past two days because this is the United States of Militarized Police. And I'm poor and mentally ill, which I believe cancels out my White Privilege.
I can talk about what I'm going to be doing. My paints come today. So I will be painting. I'm not sure where. The dining room table is covered and the studio is full of furniture and tools. I will be painting 16" canvas boards and my many art journals/altered books/smash books. art for me. not to sell. no intention of selling at all. just for me.
There has been a fundamental personality change in me with the new meds. I'm not sure how to explain it. Doc says I'm not talking, not telling him anything. He says he has no idea what is going on in my head. Neither do i, but I know I don't want to share it. I'm worried about Simon. I want to train Chewy to be a service dog. Doc can't do anything about either thing, so I don't talk.
The pharmacy company raised the price of one of my meds by $110. I fucking hate these people. They want me to get 90 days at once. So there is a $110 penalty per month if I don't. But I can't afford to buy the 90 day supply, even at the cheap price, do they not get "fixed income"? And my doctor doesn't work on Friday, so I have to wait until monday to sort it out. EVERY SINGLE FUCKING MONTH THEY DO SOMETHING TO DELAY OR PREVENT ME FROM GETTING MY MEDS. I tweeted them today about it. I don't expect a response. They just beat you down and beat you down. it's a fucking crime in this country to be mentally ill. i am breaking an unwritten law just by being alive.
That Powell man in St. Louis the other day was mentally ill and the cops just shot him down like a dog in the street. and then lied about it. and you notice, he has no advocates marching in the streets for him. he was just some crazy person. who cares about him, right?
Oh, goody, Henry Rollins, subject of my 20+ nyear obsession, has come out and condemned Robin Williams. Fuck him. He is dead to me. Another tool who has no fucking clue and thinks he's so much better and stronger. Die Henry, die.