Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

him, trying to wake up stress free.

the day has been uneventful. i napped for only two hours this morning, and i was legitimately tired. when i woke up at 5 to get up, i wasn't ready, so i slept from 8-10am.

i swept off the patio, finally. since the winds finally went away for a few days. we might, Might, get rain this weekend, and i don't want a lot of mud everywhere. literally, pounds of dirt blow up on our patio on windy days. but it isn't nearly as bad as shoveling snow. i would much rather battle the sandy dirt.

so, i'm debating another nap. either bath and stay up, or nap.

even though i'm relaxed about my primary concern right now, i'm still not back to my old self, though what is my old self? back to my happy self. my days are good enough. just not productive beyond household chores.

maybe i'll make doc clean off part of the table tomorrow so i can paint. i kind of want to paint. and i haven't used my paints since xmas time. when i got them. they are sitting inside, away from my other supplies, which are in the garage studio. i don't want the heat to ruin the paints. i should bring my glue in, as well.

Chewy and i went for a walk at noon, before it got really hot. it was only 100 out. doc gave me his straw cowboy hat to wear, his farmer's hat. chewy practically ran me around two blocks, and then went up on a lawn, sniffed around and lay down in the shade. so i picked him up and carried him for half a block until he was ready to get down and go on. luckily, he drank as soon as he got home. he wouldn't do that the other day, i was holding him up at the sink and trying to pour water out of my hand into his mouth, it was ridiculous. we need to take him out earlier, and we need to fix the fence, so that he can be let out into the back yard for a quick pee. we don't let him out, he gets out. usually while a cat is coming in, he will sneak up on me and jump over the cat while the door is open. or he trips me as i'm going out to smoke. so i go out to smoke less. he's wily.

i think there was a bedbug in the pants i wore to take Chewy for a walk. My ankle is all bitten up. there's 6 different bites. i took them outside, turned them inside out and sprayed them down with alcohol. i didn't find any bugs, but there's a lot of seams and pockets and shit on these pants. the alcohol would have killed him. little fucker.

Teeny has started sleeping on the couch with Major, Simon and Chewy. They all have their "space bubbles" in tact, no one is touching or close to touching, but they are all together on the couch. it's a long couch. it's a queen sized futon. so it's long.

it comes down to this: do I make coffee, or don't I? I haven't had a fresh cup of coffee in two days. it's all been reheated. doc's been making the coffee while i've been sleeping. he deserves fresh coffee occasionally. every other night he get's fresh, but not during the day. it matters, people.

ahhhhhhhh . . . nice cool bath and Teeny for company. With a new Anne Rice novel to read. Now it's "Blood and Gold". i think it has the important piece of the story i missed in my reading before. i skipped ahead to "Blackwood Farm" right after "Tale of the Body Thief" and then went back and read "Memnoch the Devil". So confused about one little plot point. I think i've found the book it's in.

my hair is getting healthier. i make sure to comb it out every day now. then i put it up in a ponytail because hot. and doc shaved my neck, all those annoying little hairs that got all tangled and hurt me and wouldn't grow out long enough to put in the ponytail.

I discovered a new phenomenon today. i call it "Imploding Cucumber Syndrome". leave an unripened, questionable cucumber in a produce bag on the counter and let the house heat up. the cucumber collapsed in on itself and leaked cucumbery water all over the counter (it's important for this part that the bag is upside down). interesting. oh, factoid, ants hate cucumber. block entrances and exits of ants with cucumber peel or a slice. just remember to replace it every day or it will rot and smell and bring cockroaches.

an hour and forty minutes until i get doc up for work. i've passed the time rather well. well, rather quickly. though he went to bed late. an hour late. i hope he's up for work tonight. though i could deal with him staying home. he should be able to. he's working half a holiday. they really screwed him on this shift. it's going to be the same for thanksgiving and xmas.

only five more months until i can celebrate xmas! you know, i've been in this funk since i took down the xmas tree last month.

For a homicide detective, the chick on Castle threatens to kill people a lot.

Best of luck to those in the hurricane's path. I wish you could send me the rain, too.

Hmmm, no Rachel Maddow tonight. Holiday.

wow is it hot outside. july in Vegas. 106. no humidity. but that's coming. i don't know how high it will get, likely not very.

doc and i are getting those spinning flower fireworks tomorrow. he forgot to go to the dollar store to get me sparklers, so i get the flowers instead from a real fireworks stand. most of them take half off after 8. but i don't know if i'll wait until that late because they may sell out of flowers. and those are the only home fireworks that i really like.

they're not showing any fireworks on TV tomorrow. bummer, some casinos go all out. maybe they'll have coverage on the 11pm news. i love fireworks. fireworks and xmas lights. bright shiny things.

oh, hey, i need to turn off the alarm so it doesn't scare the shit out of me in 20 minutes. okay. i hate that noise when i'm asleep, and awake i loathe it. it sets of anxiety in me. that's the real reason i haven't been sleeping in the afternoons: i have a panic attack every day when the alarm wakes me up. i couldn't take it anymore. if i'm going to nap, i do it early now. at 2 or so, so i wake up between 4 and 5. the last straw was the last time i lay down before he got up. i lay down for an hour and i was just falling asleep when the alarm went off and it set me in the worst mood. i had the worst night that night.

and those panic attacks, there isn't enough xanax in north america to help with those. i have to just sit through them, freaking out. that's not good for anybody, especially doc, who has to wake up to that. me, trying to hold it together. him, trying to wake up stress free.

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