Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers
cydniey

okay, so it's my birthday

i'm 45. and absolutely numb. i couldn't think of anything i wanted for my birthday. doc talked me into getting a cake, i think we have some candles and champagne. he even got me spanikopita for lunch for tomorrow.

my mother sent me an early birthday greeting yesterday through facebook. how is she still able to message me? i didn't need to hear from her, and what's her point? after that perfomance of absence at xmas and the following nana stroke thing, why is she talking to me now? just to get to me. i know it. and i let her. she got me again. why can't i have a normal mom, instead of this petty, vindictive bitch? or one that didn't care at all. i could handle that. apathy, instead of what i get. i'd rather be ignored.

i'll post the pictures later, when i feel like playing with my cameras, but i got some lovely pink/orange Aldanas and a really healthy basil plant today. two of the aldanas went out front to replace the dead bushes. they are ground spreaders, so they will fill out the rocky area nicely. and they are perennial.

the basil i put in a smaller pot than i wanted to, but the larger decorative one i had didn't have a drain hole in it, so i couldn't use it. so i used my last pot. another nice one that doc bought for me when i was frantically trying to grow things in the apartment. with no sunlight.

tomorrow i have to rearrange the plants. doc took the tomato and the pepper plant and planted them at the back wall, so i have to take those pots out of the arrangement.

that's it. i'm waiting for doc to leave, then i'm taking the dog for a walk then i'm putting on The Fifth Element and going to sleep. my nap tonight was . . . disconcerting. i'd like to leave it behind with a solid four hours of dreamless sleep.

i have soda for tomorrow morning. and i rolled cigarettes for the day. tomorrow is cleaning day. that will keep me busy in the morning while i wait for doc to get home from work. he said he wished he took my birthday off, but that would have been bad. we just snipe at each other. when we get along, it seems like no big deal, when we fight it seems like no big deal. i just don't care. but i'm glad he didn't take the day off. that would have sucked.
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