in the past three days, doc has asked me more times than i can remember if i needed to go to the hospital. if it weren't for all the things i have to do around here, i might have said yes. things were that bad.
when you can't tell reality from not, things get weird, quick. and doc is the only one who sees the weird. except for that little episode last week when we had company.
you're all spotty. i think i need to clean my glasses. oh yes, that is much better, do you feel less spotty?
i can't wait until 7:30 to go outside and start gardening. i have to wait until then to give my neighbors a chance to get up. they understand i am largely nocturnal, and i understand they have to sleep in the mornings. But Jack on the right gets up at 7 and the group on the right at 7:30 to get the kids off to school.
i don't think i have enough soil to do what i want to do.
the stupid rodeo is in town all weekend. i hate the rodeo. i hate everything about it. gussied up rednecks, tortured animals, drinking, yelling, bleach blonde big-hipped women in too tight tshirts and giant cowboy hats. inside. it's a big part of the heritage here. especially this weekend, it's Helldorado days. a cowboy driven festival that used to be to keep the dam builders from leaving the area when the dam was done. the casinos used to do floats for it, it used to be a big deal. now it's just a cowboy holiday, the parade is much smaller and localized and the carnival cheaply put together. and then the highlight of each night of the festival, the rodeos. Helldorado days is not something i participate in or even want to. it's kind of like NASCAR weekend, it brings out the scary people and puts beer in their hands.
by the way, i'm not anti-drinking. at all. i'm anti-drunk. i don't mind people drinking and getting silly and having fun. i used to enjoy that myself, and if i could hold my liquor, i still would. it's the dangerous, tunnel visioned, loud, overbearing drunks i have issue with. and this town makes its money off these clowns. one reason i don't go to the strip at night. i just don't want to deal with the drunks. but i'll go hang out at a bar, i may even have a cocktail myself and get a little silly. but drunk and belligerence seem to go together and i hate both.
Major has just realized i'm awake and is now howling his way through the house. it seems like he's looking for me, though i'm always in the same place. on the couch.
oh, we're getting rid of the love seat and getting another futon. N is getting rid of hers and getting a "real" couch. we will soon be able to sleep 17 here. there will be some rearranging happening. the love seat is wedged between the speaker and the CD case. the speaker is going to have to move. i see it on the printer table.
i need to remind doc that the lease is up at the end of the month. i wonder if they will raise our rent again. it's weird, the apartment complex lowered our rent each year we kept the lease, as incentive. not this place. they raise the rent, send you the lease, and don't communicate with you at all. it's kind of weird. but they are good with maintenance. touch and go with the guys that contract with them directly and come out to do general fix-it, but with the big stuff, they are great. and they don't come by once a year and "inspect" the premises, which i always found really invasive at the apartments.
ooh, there's a commercial for the nursery on . . . i want to go on a spending spree there. you can keep your girly shoes and cosmetics, i want to garden. i wonder if this weekend we can get the hummingbird feeder and the couple other plants i wanted. i wanted to get some basil. and i have to get another red thyme. the one i have is dead and it's throwing the tree off balance. i think the tree is happy with its new groundcover. it has stopped dropping pine cones on the cat's heads.
hour and a half until i can go out and work. what can i do inside? i'm sure i can find something. i do all this stuff before doc gets home. he doesn't notice, i don't remember the frenzy of doing things. and then i'm tired when he gets home and he can't understand it. he thinks i just sit here on twitter. to be honest, i haven't really twittered at all this week. i've read a little. retweeted a couple of things. but that's all. i'm not interested.
i think i need adderall to focus. i've had this talk with you. i know one doctor won't give it to me and i'm afraid to ask the other doctor. i'm thinking of buying canadian. just a bit at a small dose to see if it works. if it does, i will tell doctor number two and make him prescribe it to me.
grrrrrrrrr. i went out and started raking and the dog next door flipped out, which means the woman is still asleep. so i put the rake away and came back inside. maybe it's better this way, it's already hot out and it's going up o 102 today.
time to go to work