Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

so, the nachos tasted a little funky

but i thought it was just the med taste in my mouth. but no, the meat was bad. i woke up with horrendous stomach cramps and the usual pleasantness that comes with food poisoning. i'd eat those nachos again, though.

tomorrow, i'm not eating. i will leave my digestive system alone.

tomorrow we mail the great mothers day card. i have yet to design it. i did it at the wrong dimensions the first time and couldn't reconcile the difference while maintaining the design. i wrote "roses are red, violets are blue, we love and we miss you". doc said that was sweet. i'm glad he liked it.

lelu is howling. she wants gushy food. she's finished her can for the night. so she will continue to howl inconsolably. for another ten minutes, then she will tire of it and come in and curl up on the router and fall asleep.

i don't have a lot to say. we were busy today. and we got some radish and wax beans seeds and a sprinkler attachment for the hose. then the scooter broke down. so there was a trip to B's. Emergency mechanic. it was an electrical problem. that got fixed. now the scooter is good to go. those things need a lot of maintenance. i'm serious, the thing needs the oil changed every couple of weeks and the belts are always breaking. i mean, we have two broken down trucks, and the scooter spends more time at the mechanic than the trucks combined.

i sstayed up a long time today. until 6. and no nap at 10. i didn't sleep any better this evening, though. i don't know if that was the food poisoning or what. i'm going to take some OTC sleep meds soon and hit the pillow with music on instead of TV and see if that does me any better. i can't keep waking up after every dream. i'm completely losing my sense of reality. i am remembering things that never happened except in the dreams and i am referencing them, which is scaring doc.

we had company for a bit today and i was reminded that i'm not fit for company. i was okay for about a half an hour, i was able to follow the conversation and keep my pace with it. but then i started to lose the thread and before i knew it, conversation had stopped and everyone was staring at me, rocking back and forth on the couch, clutching the dog, completely unaware i was doing anything disruptive. it was so humiliating. i was with people who knew and understood about me, but it was still really embarrassing.

things are different in crowds. i just get the crazy eyes. but i can keep my shit together as long as i keep walking. can't do that in a room full of people sitting on couches looking at me. can't keep my shit together. god, just thinking about it is making my face throb with heat and my heart pound.

with all the medication out there . . . whatever.

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