Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

i'm not subhuman

Poor Chewy. Doc is bringing home Benadryl for him. we didn't have any. i've been washing his paws, and that seems to distract him for a while, he runs around and seems happy. but he's not getting a lot of rest. he can't sleep from the licking.

oh, wow, a shooting up the street. where B and his wife are moving. i would go to florida, were i them. we live in a nice enough neighborhood, for its age. but not far from here is non-stop ghetto. i'm glad doc was at work this morning and not out.

the more i think about my shrink, and the shoddy way he treated me last time, the madder i get. who is he to interrogate me why i've come in after only a month? he made the appointment. and he's getting paid, isn't he? fuck him. he's going to do what i want with my treatment and not give me any more shit, or i'm going to make life extra hard for him. i'm already getting even with the ignorant bitch receptionist and her bedazzled sweatsuit by having my records faxed there and not mailed. it's 5 years of records. that fax machine will be busy all day. so she can just go screw. and if he doesn't even look at it before i come in next, i'm taking it to a higher level and complaining to medicare. i'm not taking this shit from another doctor. i deserve and am willing to pay for treatment, i'm not getting treated like shit for it.

that's it. that's what has been bugging me since last week. i didn't speak up for myself and i've been regretting it ever since. i didn't speak up for my care. i didn't take doc in with me to help me and i didn't do it on my own. and it's been haunting me since then. and as i lay with Chewy during the half an hour of sleep he managed to get this morning, i realized it.

oh, now he's itching his head. poor puppy.

so i don't know if i feel better or not. i feel better that i know what is up with me. i feel bad because there is nothing i can do about it for 6 weeks.

oh, wow, and there is a big bridge fire out by someone who i used to know in california. that sucks. i hope he's not trapped in traffic.

not a slow news day.

yeah, that doctor needs to be humbled. you don't treat patients like that. especially if they are so bad off they can't even speak for themselves. maybe that's why he was a dick, because doc wasn't in the room and he felt like he could get away with it. well, he can't. i'm going in with a fucking attitude next time. and the first question i'm asking is if he's looked at my records. if he says no, i will inquire what the hourly rate is for a doctor who gives a shit. i will not be treated this way, i don't care if i'm on medicare. i'm not subhuman.

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