doc left for N's party. they even had tshirts. he didn't even take Chewy. he didn't take me because he didn't think the family would like me. he confessed that one night when he'd had a bit much to drink. i hate it when he's drunk, he has no sense of my self esteem.
i don't even know why i'm awake, aside from i'm not tired. there's nothing on tv. i don't feel like reading or being on the computer. and he took all the cigarettes i stuffed earlier. this is the time of the day when i'm dangerous to myself.
i already dyed the eggs and cleaned up the mess. yay. big fucking deal.
i called kelli. that was nice.
now i'm just sitting here waiting for 11:30 to wake doc up for work. and it's 6:14. and he's not even home. and i'm out of cola. and my last lighter is almost dead.
i'm not happy right now. i'm just not.