i also made a video of all my footage and pictures of the Ethel M Lighted Cactus Garden from the holidays. it's a long video, 6 minutes. but it's got the Nutcracker Suite Overture as the music, so it's a pleasant 6 minutes.
now i'm out of video. well and truly. time to make more.
or time to do any of the hundred other things i need to do. i got this passion to make videos, so i made them all.
today was a much better day than yesterday, which was a much better day than the day before. tomorrow i should be normal again.
two years of not taking xanax has dropped my tolerance back down again. so i at least have that when i'm freaking out. like now. i don't know why. i woke up in full panic mode, a full hour before i was supposed to be up. i sat here and cried and shook for a while, slurping my cola before i realized i had another xanax dose to take. now i'm just waiting to feel better. i've stopped crying.
i don't like my new doctor. he's a big, friendly guy, with a white beard like santa claus. he has a british accent and a small, cozy office with comfy furniture. he wears jeans and birkenstocks. i should love everything about this guy. he seems made for me, right? but he's a little shouty. his voice is not at all soothing. it's rather abrupt and jarring. he scared me.
time to go mae cigarettes and coffee for doc toniight. have a nice night.