Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

it didn't have to be as an Egger

I' in a better humor after a few hours of sleep. Depression wise. I'm still all full of piss and vinegar and not fit for human consumption, though. I'm on a left-wing feminist tear across the interweb. I want to tear all the people who have written lousy poems for my contests apart. Which reminds me, I have to judge two contests today. And maybe start another one. I've lost interest in gaining any more levels for the time being, so I haven't been entering any contests.

Evie does this thing to get your attention, she tickles you with the tip of her cold, wet nose. She only does it when her nose is wet. As I'm typing, she is grazing it lightly over my arm. In utter frustration, she just laid down. You know what I have to do today? Clarify the proper use of "lay, lie, and laid". I never had any issue with "your/you're" or "their/there/they're" and Eris thoughtfully pushed me to learn the whole "its/it's" conglomerate. I just made a list of "vivid" synonyms, since I use the phrase "vivid imagery" too damn much when commenting on poems. It's my go-to line when I can't think of anything else nice to say. Then I usually admit the piece confuses the shit out of me and accept it as my fault for not having the learning or experience to properly analyze poetry. I don't get a lot of points or fans from these comments, but I do get some poets willing to explain to me what the hell they are talking about.

It's a U2 kind of morning. I just loaded my favorite 60 songs by them into the media player and hit "shuffle". A random tour of their discography. Oh, to get Evie out of my lap, I just need to sing. Good to know. It's also an easy way to elicit a concerned and puzzled "meow" out of Major. Major and his pink stuffed bunny. I'll get a picture of him with it while he's sleeping with it.

Again, I can't wait for spring proper when I can go out and let all the cats out in the back and take pictures of them. I can only get them sleeping in the house. They move too fast for the slow shutter speed I have to use in the house. There are many beautiful windows with great views, but the way the house faces, south-west-ish, the sun doesn't come into them. Oh, there is one golden time in the morning in the late winter, early spring, when the sun comes through the window in the living room and shines right on my face on the couch. I usually lay down for it and bask in it. It makes for a home that is easy and cheap to keep cool, but it is bad for photography with an automatic shutter. One day I will be serious enough about photography to get myself a really nice camera that you can adjust the shutter speed of and put a telephoto lens on. Don't get me wrong, I love my digi cams. Especially the one we call the "big" one. It has the biggest screen. That one was a gift from the Tech Fairy years ago. So many times I thought that camera had had enough and given up only to have it come roaring back to life with a change of batteries (it starts to reject the rechargeables after a while, even if they are fully charged) or a quick and frantic pressing of multiple buttons for no reason.

I have to have to call my old shrink and get my records for my new doctor. And I have to write down the meds that I am taking and figure out if I'm going to try to explain to him I've been taking black market meds I prescribed myself based on 15 years of consumer research that includes the proofreading of the entirety of the Seroquel and Lamicatal websites, including the physician's only sections. I'm no doctor, no, but I've kept myself alive and coherent, which is more than most of my doctors have done for me. Hey, I've been stable for a year on them. It's time to go back to xananx, from hydroxyzine. I need something with a little more punch. Or maybe valium again. No, xanax, valium was too expensive for what little it did for me. Xanax is cheap and I shouldn't have such a tolerance to it anymore. It's been a year since I was on that class of drug. Just the very rare instance of half a Klonopin here and there.

We found out that if you turn off notifications of free stuff in pot farm on facespace, they stop giving you free stuff. So I have to figure out how to turn those back on for Doc. I don't really care if it spams my timeline. It's one of the prices I pay for a flawed "free" commercial service. They asked me to take a survey the other day. Like they give a shit! Why waste my time with their silly shit? They aren't going to listen to a thing anyone says.

I think I'll take the xmas tree down this week. We've been using it as an ambient light source. But we got this great hutch top with a big mirror and a recessed light that we can use now. I'll miss it. I'm also giving in today and taking the nic-nacs off the speaker next to the love seat. It's been a constant battle with the cats coming out of the window and knocking everything down. I'm just going to let them have the space. i don't need clutter up there, anyway. They need up space. There is so little for them to climb on and some of them, like Teeny, Simon and Vader, are positively arboreal.

On to poetry. I have some poems to post and I'm suddenly in the mood to enter some contests. I think I'll start commenting on all the other entries in the contests I enter. I need to at least read them to avoid repeating a metaphor or image poorly. I may as well comment on them, while I'm there.

"Beat on black, beat on white. Beat on anything, but get it right. Beat on me, beat on you, beat it off!" - Two Hearts Beat as One (U2). My parents tried to tell me this refers to masturbation. The year this came out and they tried to tell me that, some big in SoCal christian organization gave U2 some award for vaguely sounding religious with that whole "Gloria" thing. That shut them up. People more conservative than the mormons were recognizing that this band was different. My parent's really had their heads in the gutter when i was young. Most of the "bad" stuff I learned from them, by them thinking I had already been exposed to it and then informing me all about it; or unwittingly doing it in front of me, thinking I wouldn't notice. Stupid people shouldn't breed. I would have come to earth in some form, it didn't have to be as an Egger.

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