Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

enough. enough. eno . . .

Why did I fill out my facespace profile if everyone is going to ask me if I'm married? I've figured out my Middle Eastern draw over the last few days. It's the blue eyes. And in some cases the thumbsucking. It's all about sex. Men are so fucking boring, (pardon me, please, if you are a man who has never thought of or propositioned me). If women came on to me, they would be boring too, don't think i discriminate.
Jaysus, even the Christian Zealot from Pakistan wants sex. What the fuck is wrong with people?

I swear i'm sick of sex. Sexual orientation, sexual rights, sexual freedom of expression. AUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHH! It's a body function! Sure, it's enjoyable. Of course, if you're doing it right, and I'm to the point in my life where I always do it right, so it's always enjoyable. I'm not a sexless prude. I love a good hard fuck. That being said, it is not my primary reason for being on the internet and interacting with people. I've had five conversations with people from the other side of the world this week. People who grew up with completely different experiences tha me, people who are fascinating to me just by virtue of being who and what and where they are. And every single damned conversation I have with them turns to sex. And sometimes quite rudely.

We could be having this amazing meeting and sharing of cultures, a willful western woman, and a techno-savvy middle eastern man. Think of the conversations we could have! And it's all wasted on "turn on the camera", and then some garbled, Google-translated desire to do something to me or the cam, i can never figure out which.

I'm married.
And I don't want to sex you.

That being said, I'm having a pretty good night. I took an inordinately long nap in my bed with the dog and several more cats than usual. It was good. Now i'm listening to "the Baby Elephant Walk" and re-thinking some changes I started making to my site today. Something weird is on TV. It is disorienting me. I think i'm going to put Farscape or Firefly on in a minute. Let my fan girl flag fly.

okay, i cross posted that above part to facebook. fuck it, why talk about the guys behind their backs on here? let them know how i feel.

Tired of my new music, i've reverted back to my USB stick play list again tonight. it is filling my brain with joy. i thought i was tired of everything on it, but no. i'm not.

i have so many books to read. i got a kindle version of the Elements of Style last night. i don't think it will improve my writing any, but it might help me get a job editing. if i had to take a test or something. if i could edit from home, that would be really cool.

but instead of reading any of the books i am "supposed" to be reading, i've been reading "Dreaming of Babylon" by Richard Brautigan in the bath. kind of intentionally doing what he is inadvertently doing throughout the book. I will once again recommend that EVERYone read Brautigan. You can find his books at used book stores across America. i found and bought almost his entire canon before even realizing who he was or that i would love his writing.

Okay, it is now the 19th. i will take the xmas lights down today after sunrise. the tree stays up for a while longer. though we got the bins to pack the ornaments in where they won't get damaged.

enough. enough. eno . . .

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