Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

Happy New Year 2014

it's 11:30 pm. doc is in the shower getting ready to go over and spend midnight with the Family. there were apologies all around for the xmas thing. whatever. i was hoping he'd stay home, but he wants to see S, who is in town for the holidays. i'm watching the local news countdown to the fireworks show at midnight. for those uninitiated, they shoot 8 minutes of fireworks off of the roofs of seven of the biggest casinos on the strip. with the soundtrack playing on all the loudspeakers up and down the strip. it's a thing. the news covers it from 8 places and a helicopter. it's better than going down and being frozen and crushed. i'm watching the news coverage and not winning the $30,000 New Year's prize from them. bummer.

this has been a pivotal year. we lost a cat and gained 5. we got a dog. we had a roommate who was hell but brought us closer together. this is the year i finally woke up and realized i was destroying my life. this was the year i got my marriage back.

a lot of good things happened this year. i'm pretty happy with this year. i'm glad for it to be over, i guess. New Year's . . . just a day on the calendar. it doesn't really start or finish anything for me. but if i use it at a marker, it's been pretty good.

i thought i was going to get all deep and shit. but i'm just not feeling it right now. doc keeps distracting me and to be honest, i'm not at all happy about him going out. but it's important for him to see his friends.

and i really wish i'd won that $30,000. i had as much chance as anyone, you were only allowed 25 entries. i don't know who did win. ah, someone named Donna Kline won, and she sounded as excited as i would have. that's cool. someone out there just had their dreams come true financially. i'm having my dreams come true every other way. i can live happily with that. money may be all i talk about but it really isn't everything unless you don't have it.

it would have been nice to fix up the truck and pay off my student loan, though. and get doc out of debt. that would have been cool. i've been daydreaming about it a lot lately. but we'll do it another way. the way we always planned. he's made a resolution to go to work every day. which would be a switch. he takes a lot of time off because he can and that's what put us in this hurtin' position. the new year will be different.

plus, i got a phone number today of a student loan default problem solving center. they get you out of default and back on reasonable payment schedules. that would allow me to go back to school. it would at least allow us to get our tax returns every year. which would be new. that's roughly $700 a year they eat. of doc's money. bad. so i'm going to work that out and get paying it off. it's not high, only a few grand. not in the tens of thousands.

the only thing i miss about not going out is not having a noisemaker. heh.

four minutes until the fireworks!! yay!

the main reason i didn't want doc going out was because guy on a scooter in city full of drunks in SUVs. not so much worried about him getting to the party, more worried about him getting home. he's going to text me when he gets there. and i guess call me (because i'll have more minutes after midnight) before he leaves.

people are setting off fireworks outside. Simon is all on alert and the dog has perked up. Now here comes Tulip *bang*. and on *snap* comes Vader, to the door to look over things.

The soundtrack to the fireworks this year sucks. if it is a reflection of popular radio, i'm glad i don't listen to popular radio. every song is annoying, or this one, which is a ripoff of a song i love. ooooh, Danke Sheone (i bollucks upped that spelling, sorry) is on. Luck be a Lady, things are looking up. i'm glad i can type while looking at the tv screen, though i'm going to have to edit this pretty heavily when i'm done. ah! Gaga. that's what i was waiting for.

i wonder what Donna Kline is going to do the day after tomorrow. when she gets her money. i would go to old navy and buy myself a wardrobe, then i would go to trader joe's and buy everything i wanted. then i would send doc to the liquor store to stock the bar. then i would pay off the lease. i would start going through all the old mail for bills to pay off. i would send doc out to get a new wardrobe at the place of his choosing. then we would find a place to take the truck and have it fixed up. just so it worked well. everything else on it could wait. i would get a hotel for us and the cats and dog and get an exterminator in here to get rid of the bed bugs. get doc a bed. get a new loveseat. yeah. i would be busy for a couple of days. food. i would buy food. gourmet food. good food. i would cook my ass off. i would get fat for a little while. and maybe, just maybe, i would get my hair professionally dyed blonde and cut. just for shits and giggles.

okay, that was fun. it feels good to get it out.

so, it's the new year. and doc hasn't texted me yet and he's been gone a half an hour and it's a five minute drive over there. and he is hopelessly irresponsible. i don't want to think about how many nights he kept his father up waiting for him. he never calls, and always thinks he does. or says he thinks he does. i think he knows better, i don't know. either he's a liar or thick. hahahaha.

hey, would you guys like photo tours of the casinos in town? i can't take pictures on the casino floor, but the rest of the place is open season, and they really do these places up. it would give me an excuse once the weather gets warm, to take the bus down to the strip and get some experience photographing. it's fun and challenging finding things to take photos of here, but i want to get out this year. doc and i are really on track.

he's been with UPS for over five years now, he is "vested". they have a retirement fund for him. not a 401k, but a real retirement fund. it's crazy. he has more vacation time. he got another raise. though he gets those pretty steadily. i'm sure he's the highest paid of the people who do what he does. he's the most experienced. he's been with the company longer than his coach and his supervisor. he could be one of those things if he could stand people. but he can't. so he's happy doing what he's doing. the good news is, if he does look for a better job, say with Zappos (i keep telling him to find out if they have internal support in vegas like what he's doing now so he doesn't have to deal with the public), he will have an advantage, being vested and all with another company already. it shows dedication. and all of his time off can't be held against him because it's Family Medical Leave Act time. it's all legal and such. they can't penalize him for it. some managers have tried and he's laughed at them openly and not gotten along with him. mostly women.

UPS is a boys club. they let the women do all the jobs, i can attest to that. i used to unload tractor trailers in the mornings before doing my QC work in the hub. but it is a boys club (i quit because of sexual harassment from my eventual stalker). even in corporate, hell, maybe more in corporate because they don't have union protection. so the longer women are there, the more bitter and driven and man-hating they get. so by the time they get pushed out of the main office to doc's office, they are hateful, vengeful things. this is why doc doesn't work the day shift anymore. these bats don't work at night. they have families to go to, god bless them.

i've decided to really work on my website this year. republishing the books, getting a player for the mp3s on the site, tightening up the design. i had fun relearning how to do rounded buttons, and photoshop has made it oh, so easy with the rounded rectangle tool. but i hate the colors i chose. i hate the design. i hate having graphics. i would rather go back to text. so maybe i will combine the two and make all the buttons black and subtle. i just can't decide on colors. i need to edit some youtube video comments and titles. and just some more professional things. get my spoken word on spotify. i think i have some up there already. i want a professional thing, and i want to use, to the best of my abilities, the most of the "helper" sites that i can. pinterest, coppermine, twitpic, facebook, youtube, sellfy,, ebay, and cafepress. which reminds me i need to redo the designs on cafepress. that is going to be hard, i may switch to zuzu.

i may still use for photo books. i want to do one of selfies from the cams over the years that i happened to turn them on. and another of photography, maybe of the strip. another reason to go down to the strip and take pictures.

anyway, i want it tight and right up there. i guess i'm making myself a brand. i wanted to get into voice over work this year, but with this new lispy thing, i can't consider that. i'll read my own books. but that's about it. so when i do go to get a new job, and they say, what have you been doing while out of the workforce, i can point them to the website, and say, see, 15 years of my life and accomplishments. i have been busy, i have not been idle. hire me. now. please. pay me to work for you as hard as i work for myself. something like that.

i will never work in an office again, unless it's run like a pre-school. then i will do it. but i will never get buttoned down to do a meaningless job with people i have nothing in common with and hate more each day in a closed box with distant windows and carpet covered walls, again. it just wasn't for me. the QC work i did at UPS was good, i was at a computer terminal or on the phone overseas, but i was in jeans and a tank top and combat boots, leather jacket in the winter (but still the tank top, it got hot unloading the trucks, some guys would wear shorts all year round and this was in PA). in a warehouse. eating fruit loops out of a baggie and slurping a double big gulp.

but i can see myself working in a supermarket deli, i'll find a supermarket that treats their people right, i don't care about the pay. i'll work part time for minimum wage and a sandwich every so often. or maybe a corner store, getting cigarettes and beer for the locals. that was rewarding. so was the deli. i can't compete in the kitchen, i'm not experienced or skilled or schooled enough to work with the white folk and i can't speak a lick of spanish. i can't tolerate the way retail workers are treated, i would revolt or cause a mutiny if i was bored enough.

i just lost Chewy again, and he was right next to me. granted he was buried in the quilt, but i really must pay more attention. he's little, i lose him.

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