Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers
cydniey

people, i'm really excited here

okay, so i've been on allpoetry.com for a couple of months. i've posted a couple of poems, entered a contest and surfed some of the other poets looking for a kindred spirit. i mean, there has to be someone else out there who writes like me, right? i don't think so. not anymore.

i just got to the point on the site where you have to start participating to keep posting your work. 2 comments on other people's stuff for every poem you post. this keeps people working together and interacting and it keeps me thinking about how i can improve my own work.

i've given some really good, thoughtful comments. i make it a challenge to say something about every poem i read. and it isn't always easy because i don't like a LOT of the work on there. There is a lot of religious stuff and a LOT of stuff that rhymes. and tries to hard to rhyme. now, if you've been here a long while, you know my views on poetry that rhymes. ICK. not even Shakespeare rhymed, not when you read him aloud. i hate it. it makes it impossible to read a piece without feeling hokey.

but the comments i've gotten back . . . did you guys know i have actual talent? it's not just me pounding away at the keys, there's some good stuffs coming out of my head. people are touched, people can relate. a critique i got suggested i disavow my common use of "and" which is usually replaced by a comma and a wish in poetry. i understand where they are coming from from a classic poetry stance, but i don't agree. another said that my intro to "My Seratonin's Low" was too strong. the whole piece is meant to be yelled. i used it to enter a rant contest, since it is a rant, but didn't think much about whether it would work in text. i guess it doesn't. it works live. people laugh and laugh. and they pay attention. ah, the crossing of two mediums.

so i'm really excited about this site. and i'm not just posting older pieces. i've written 5 original pieces for this site. for the contests, you usually must write a new piece.

i'm also taking a course on haiku. and i passed my first homework assignment. the teacher cut out an "is" in the final cut, but i can live with that. and did you know haiku doesn't have titles? fun! i hate thinking up titles. that's why some you see don't seem to fit. it means i was at the end of my rope with the piece and had to title it and just put down the first thing that came to mind.

so the end-all of all of this, for your benefit, is that i'm actively writing again and you can keep up with me on this site. if you are perusing the site and come up with a poem you'd like to hear me read, i would be happy to do it. just email me or message me here or at http://facebook.com/fabulousdisaster and i will do it for you.

i guess i'm so excited because this is the very first thing i have ever done in an attempt to improve my poetry, not just prove it. taking courses, being involved with groups, i'll have to have a contest soon, i want it to be good. something to make people break out of the safety of ABBAC and into something freer and see if they can't hold their own in the wild. it's more than getting more exposure, after all these are poets, they could care less about my poetry, they are just interested in their own. but it's a hard audience to play to. especially knowing there will be a Q and A afterward in the comments.

here's my orniginal haiku:
the black of her is
comforting as the night is
dark as the velvet

here's the revision:
the black of her is
comforting as the night  --
dark  velvet

i like her version better, it's cleaner. i was trying to stick to the 5-7-5 formula, which she told me isn't necessary. that is much more freeing. i don't have to insert words to extend the line. she wants me to do a couple on nature. that will be hard. i don't write about nature much. i'll go out for a walk with Chewy later and look at nature and see if anything inspires me.

here, for shits and giggles:

MY SERATONIN'S LOW

I YELLED AT MY BOSS BECAUSE HE HASN'T PAID ME AND IT'S
BEEN A ROUGH WEEK AND HE GOT ON MY LAST NERVE AND
now i'm employment impaired and i'm looking for a sharp-type knife.
MY SERATONIN'S LOW

I HAD TO KICK MY ROOMMATES OUT CUZ THEY WOULDN'T PAY THEIR RENT AND THEY THOUGHT I WOULDN'T DARE AND
then one came back and kicked in the window and the cops came to visit
MY SERATONIN'S LOW

AND THAT BRINGS ME TO THE RENT BEING DUE TODAY AND I'M COUNTING PENNIES FOR A PACK OF CIGARETTES.
i'm getting really sick of this shit as you can well imagine and a dirt nap sounds good.
MY SERATONIN'S LOW

sure, the intro is strong, that's all part of my rope-them-in way.
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