and the best thing? i'm all cookied-out. i can't even imagine eating another cookie. i'll give it a couple of days.
i'm sitting here trying to work up the inspiration to walk over to my rucksack, get out my copy of "Go Ahead, Eat the Daisies" and pick a couple of pieces to read. i'm bored with myself right now. i don't want to read my words or hear my voice. i spent an hour and a half and four software applications making that silly post last night. and then the link didn't work. it does now. it took me three applications to get the mic turned up to a decent level. the fourth was the magic one, that's the one that let me record and encode. i still have to work on the editing bit. i read that damn post 19 times, recording it each time. and it wasn't to get a smooth cut. this isn't a nature documentary, i'm not looking for flawless, the tics and hesitations in my speech are part of who i am. it was just to get an audible cut without a lot of background noise.
aside from the lisp issue, i'm pretty happy with it. happy enough to continue. there's one thing nagging me about the lisp, as i just said to a poster, it has a Jodie Foster quality to it, so i don't entirely hate it. but i don't want to get attached to it, either. it is a direct result of my missing teeth and when i get them replaced in the future, the lisp will go away. i don't want it to be a hook, a thing. that's why i asked if it was glaring. i don't want it to be too much a part of my speech . . . so much so that it will be missed. because people, i can talk a good game, but i don't know if i'm willing to go viral with this jack-o-lantern grin. and yes, my goal is to go slightly viral, like a thousand people . . . that would be incredible. a cult following, if you will. not cult as in religion gone awry, but cult as in underground.
i think my "hook" will be never appearing on moving camera live. not until i have teeth, and let's face it, when living paycheck to paycheck, a $20,000 dental bill is a long way off. i will be on radio, podcast, non-video Skype . . . but no youtube, no video casts, no tv. i'll keep my youtube presence to video compilations of still of me and things i have photographed.
you know what? i'm fucking cold again. i'm going to cuddle up with my dog under a thick quilt and put off the poetry reading to tomorrow. i'd been turning the heat up to 76 and we ended up with an $80 gas bill. yikes! so, um, yeah, thick quilts it is for me.