Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

make every smile . . oh fuckkit

oh, wow, i feel so much better this morning. i've been "out sick" for the past couple of days. last night i had a good cry, had a isunderstnading with doc that left him apologizing, and doc stayed home with me to watch me because i wasn't stable last night at all. it's not xmas. it's not the holidays at all. i am winning the war with nostalgia. i'm here, in the present. i think it's my parents. my dad said they were home all sunday, and it was the only day my mom would be home, and i wanted to see her. so i called yesterday morning. someone picked up and hung up. then i called later, at about 1 and again at 2 and 3 until doc took his sleeper. no answer.

i was really let down. i should have known well enough my dad couldn't be trusted even with something as simple as when they'd be home. and now i just want to get the box of ornaments and get out of there. fuck the recipes. i'll find them somewhere else. so i guess i'll call him, my dad, today while he's working and pop over there and pick up the box while he's busy. doc can stay in the truck.

i've worked out what i want to do next in the studio. i have two drawers and two garbage bags picked out that i want to go through, empty and repack. that is today's studio goal. my other goal is to get at least ten happy meal toy sales going today. those are going to be what i make my money on, i can see that now.

i updated my wishlist on the advice of seaivy. got rid of the palette knives and palette. don't need them with acrylic, turns out. i've painted before, so i stand by my choice of the brush kit and paint colors kit. i'm only moderately interested in the canvas boards, i will mainly be painting art journals, ATCs and altered books. the canvases are for big collages/paintings. i have the room to spread out and organize my stuff now. everything office related is coming in here and going on the desk and surrounding office things. everything art related is staying out there. and once gathered, i can go through it. and then organize it. and then USE it! i've been collecting bits and pieces of stuff for a long time, and it's so past time to make something of it.

i know i'm feeliing better because i was able to focus on that and make a plan for the day while i was still laying down, culred up with Felix sharing the pillow with me, right in my face. i got up all excited to get going, and doc was asleep. so i had to be quiet for an hour. now i'm habving coffee and writing and listening to xmas carols. i made a CD of 24 of the 66 songs i collected for out in the garage. i am so in love with the Tech Fairy this week. he enabled me to make xmas presents for those closest to me, and make a cool wall installation for my studio, and CDs for out in the studio when i have no access to a computer.

i'm going to take the cam out there today, see that it will get out there and find out where it will go. i think i have a place for it, i just need to clear the spot on the garage floor for the tripod. doc found two other tripods and i found his mini tripods. so i have 5 tripods now. i'm going to hook the small camera up to a tripod and leave it in the living room to use whenever. one tripod, my lightest of the big ones, is bound up in gaffer tape and the cam.

today i'm also going to hook up the USB hub to the old laptop and hope the whole thing doesn't explode. then i'm going to try and hook up the scanner, and again hope for nothing nuclear. it's only a matter of time before i find my pictures and i want to scan them in. i also have to move the gutted computer and monitor out to the garage, where computers go to die. i refuse to get rid of them because i know that in there is one working machine, i just need a computer genius to want an afternoon's project. i don't know enough to do it myself. but i'm pretty sure it can be done.

i think that's it for today. maybe get a batch of cookies in there. we're almost out. i haven't made the snickerdoodles yet. it will be those. i have to find a new recipe. i thought i pinned one, but no. i guess because i knew it would be easy to find.

i get paid wednesday. i can mail out the xmas cards and kelli's gifts. i can also get the rest of the ingredients for baking. heh. it will be a short week, divided up like that. and i have a daily commitment to list more happy meal toys, until they are all listed. and includes the other box in the garage and the other other box in storage. and i think i'm going to sell off my Star Wars Phantom Menace Taco Bell toys and premiums, too. except for the Jar Jar Binx stuff. i'll keep that. i like him. i always did. and i can't be the only one, he was brought back for another movie.

why, in memes, is the "K", the first initial of my given name, always equal Corkie or Cookie or some shit like that? why always some lame C word. Cunty works for that. jeez. i don't participate in those name memes because i refuse to be called Corky or Cookie. stupid facespace.

pepople have gone food crazy on pinterest. my whole board was food and black cats (i follow about a dozen black cat boards). then i looked up 'art journal' and ended up adding paints and brushes to my amazon wishlist. that's what i get. pinterest is also behind my interest in gardening and decorating the studio. it's a sickness.

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