Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

oh it was horrible

there was NO cooperation today. the whole garage thing turned into a fiasco. we fought for two hours and bad things happened. i'm glad it's over and we're over it. the garage is another story.

tomorrow when the sun comes up, i will go out and move stuff around and see if i can't make headway. fuck B for triggering this.

no, i don't mean that. i need a studio. doc has wanted to set it up for me since we have moved in and i have been resistant to it. he wasn't lying to B, that garage was meant to be my space. now that the house has bugs, the idea of spending time out in the garage is appealing.

he got the glass table out and set up. i'll have to take it down to move it, but it's set up. he cleared off the 6' table, which i had thought impossible. it's just up to me to trade what is against the wall with what is in the middle of the garage. unfortunately that involves taking everything against the wall out. *sigh*

it only has to be done once. then i'll have it done and ready to set up into the perfect art studio.

i'm over weeping at Lady Gaga. i think. if i try to sing it, i tear up, which, she probably would, too. oh, to be a Muppet. to be in her presence for even a moment. to feel her glow on my face for just an instant, dare i wish for a smile?

wow, i've got it bad.

i belong to her Little Monsters site. i joined a long time ago before i knew if i liked her or not. now i'm actually afraid to go there. i will be jealous of all the people clamoring for her attention and i don't want to be a Little Monster. i don't want to be one of the throngs. the kids. i'm too old for this shit.

i don't comprehend her art. i don't get shiny art. like ana voog's art. talk about a crush. i was so in love with her. i took her so personally. but i never got her art. i don't mean i never got into it, because i did. and with Gaga, i do. i love it. but i can't recreate it. i can't create anything like it. my art has rough edges and is unmastered. Gaga's is smooth and almost over produced. her images and sounds are sharp and well defined, her words are shiny. i am unfamiliar with this. personally. my words are mostly mumbled.

i think i'm going to watch the muppet special again, now that i've listened to her music on headphones without muppets or elton john accompanying. it's time for a fresh cup of coffee, and maybe a cigarette.

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