also in my rage today, i posted on bitchface's wall, "i just wanted to thank you for the bedbugs, you lying cunt." which upset doc. but i don't really care. she called me today. i didn't answer and she didn't leave a message. stupid bitch.
and yes, i feel better after this juvenile outbusrt. but i still took a lot of it out on doc. turns out i wasn't happy with him painting me as the victim the other night. it has been building up and festering and it finally came out in a burst today and he just laughed, he was so relieved i had finally said it and stopped holding it in. he held me and reassured me and we made up.
i just smoked the rest of my weed for the day. i should have split it up, but i wasn't unhappy with a buzz, i wanted to be properly high. so i got properly high. now i just want to go to sleep, but i am obligated to stay up and enjoy the high. i just don't know what i want to do. eat? no. not feeling it. write? not really. read? boring. see, sleep is all that's left.
i suppose i could make myself some coffee and chainsmoke like a frenchman. i'm such an asshole.
the boys are coming home for thanksgiving. so the family is reconnecting with doc. he got a couple of calls today. got caught up on the boy gossip. or, should i say, man gossip. i, in turn, got caught up on all the gossip. children have been had, people have gone to jail . . . the usual. others have dropped out of sight. R falls into that last category. we'll see him at a gig on the 16th, but expect no word until then.
Leia had her spaying surgery. her belly is all shaved. seems to me they went overboard on the shaving. she was all dopey and unsure on her feet last night. i spent most of the night holding her. i discovered she is a stoner cat. i don't hotbox my animals, i smoke like normal and if they want to get into the smoke, that's on them. i don't hold them or force it on them and none of them like it. so they don't get stoned. Leia on the other hand, was pulling the smoke out of my mouth. putting her mouth up to mine and opening her mouth and inhaling. it was the weirdest thing. i'm not going to let her make a habit out of it. they didn't give me any pain meds for her, so i figured a buzz would help her. but she's doing fine and sober now.
they trimmed her nails, but they would have had to. she was not at all happy about going back to that place. and i'm sure the scooter ride didn't help. don't judge, he drives slow, with her in a carrier, tied down, between his legs so he can keep an eye on things and he goes really slowly. it's the only legal way we have of getting around. this in no way means i endorse or condone B's taking of his four year old son out on the road on his scooter. if that makes me a hypocrite . . . so be it.