Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

i don't care about the ACA

if you can afford food, you will not qualify for government subsidies under the ACA. i know this because i can barely afford to eat, and i do not qualify for government subsidies under the ACA. i learned today, as i finished my application and finally waived medical coverage, that even under the new law, i am screwed. and i know i'm not alone. we make $3,000 more than poverty level per year. therefore, we are grouped in the middle class for pricing. the cheapest policy they had left me $30 per month for food, toiletries, meds, electric, water, and gas. oh, an high co-pays for my shrink. that was the lowest level. i'm mad.

and i'm mad in an impotent, self-esteem shattering way. even with all the changes, that i have been advocating and fighting for and supporting, i fall through the cracks.

and today i have to choose a UPS healthcare plan for next year. see what else they are raping us over. and still hovering over my head is the threat of being kicked off the UPS plan because i have medicare and they have a midevil policy. last year they decided that mental health would be treated the same as physcial health and they aren't into covering preventitive care. so shrink appointments weren't covered and there were high co-pays and out of pocket for hospital. even paying $400 a month on that policy, i can't get mental health care and still afford my meds. i can either pay for the doctors or the meds. what am i on now? pills left over at a rehab camp that one of the counselors smuggled out. i can't afford to pay off my shrink bill, and if i could, i can't afford to pay for another appointment and if i could i couldn't afford the meds. so i will take these until they run out. i have about a month of my anti psychotic left, then it's just down to mood stabilizer and allergy meds for anxiety. when those run out, i'm SOL. i was really counting on the ACA to take the pressure off. i was so sure i was going to qualify for medicaid . . . i had dreams of taking myself off the UPS policy and saving us $300 a month and being able to see a doctor again. nope.

so i no longer care. i don't care if it's repealed, i don't care if the website never works. i don't care. i also don't care about republicans or tea partiers or democrats any more. doesn't matter. none of it affects me. i may as well not even be a citizen of this country. because of $3,000. that means we're not poor. to the government. to the democrats and the republicans and the libertarians and the green party and everyone. i'm not "poor", i'm not rich and i'm not middle class. i am invisible.

so what are my options? quickly get a job before my meds run out and i lose control? i can't get a job because i have no teeth. i can't get teeth because i have no job.

oh, still more good news. doc forwarded me the email about enrolling in benefits, because of course it is up to me. at the bottom of the email is the warning that 2013 coverage options will not carry over as usual. instead, if you don't enroll in time, you will be charged the tobacco "tax" of $150 a month and your spouse will be automatically removed from coverage. the links are all intranet links, they don't work for me. and i can't get through to doc to tell him. and we have until midnight tomorrow, before he goes to work, to get enrolled. what needs to happen, is he needs to stay at work and do it when he gets off. but he won't know that and he will come home and we will be fucked because he put it off.

between these two things . . . there is not enough weed in columbia to calm me down right now.

i'm going to try to sleep. failing that, i may just drink until i throw up.

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