but now i've run out of ideas. i'm thinking of going out and having another cigarette an hour and a half has passed. maybe more will come to me.
so i guess i'm writing a book. i never thought i actually would. i always thought i'd be "just a poet". i never thought i would dare to cross into fiction. i never thought i could keep it straight, but reading Brautigan and Bukowski, i see, you just let the words and ideas come, get them down, and look at them later. they don't have to be perfect. and Kathy Acker taught me you don't have to stick to the confines of proper grammar. i mean there is no excuse for poor grammar, but there is different structure that can be used. structure that Word's little grammar helpers don't like. i seem to use a lot of fragments. and i don't do my dialog in the traditional way. the best way i've found is like in a script. it stops dead the akward repetition of "said". Acker did it, too, and gave me the courage to do it myself.
this is a journey i really didn't think i would be going on. it never occurred to me that i would have the courage to try to write a book. but when i let the ideas come like they did tonight, the words just flow out of me and i don't really care where they're going.
i just referred to writing a book as a journey. shoot me in the face now and take away my laptop.
i did some looking around on walmart.com and i can get a refurbished computer and new flat screen monitor for under $400. not bad. and if it doesn't work, i have somewhere to return it to. that will take months to come up with unless i get my ass in gear with ebay. i can't believe i spaced on that today. i've been looking at the jewlery and i really have the boho thing going, which will work for me, it's "in" this season. i'll get sales up in time for xmas shopping. and offer free gifts with big ticket items.