Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers
cydniey

i don't Feel stabby . . .

i can't stop crying. everything triggers me. after not crying for two years, this is an adjustment. usually i'm not like this until doc gets home, then i cry at everything he says. damn medications. stabilize my moods, sure, i don't feel stabby, but this weeping thing is getting old. keeps messing up my glasses when the tears bounce off my eyelashes.

i am font successful! it's taking forever, but it's worth it.

i got some sleep, a couple of hours. i'll sleep this afternoon and let doc have the computer for a while.

the chilly has worn off outside, now it's a temperature i can live with all the time in comfort. pretty soon it will be this temp all day. it will be weird to transition from cold inside/hot outside to the opposite. the heater will make the house smell funky. it doesn't matter how well you clean and how often you change the vents, the furnace will have its smell.

i had a copy of Live's Lightning Crashes, and i put it on my play list flash drive. turns out the version i had was overlayed with reports and excerpts from 9/11. that made me cry, a lot. of course so did 'til tuesday's Voices Carry. if i start weeping to Hungry Like the Wolf, there is a bigger problem here.

sunday november 3rd is the Animal Foundation's family picknick and 5k run. i want to go to the family picnic and socialize Chewy. i also want to socialize Chewy tonight at the Pup Crawl. Yappy hour is dog friendly. there's even free yappetizers for the pups. i am going to give him a bath anyway today, i could get him all cleaned up and ready to go. wash his harness and find the matching leash.

okay, i'm crying to Pat Benatar's Heatbreaker, it's time to get stoned. i can't handle these feelings, i freely admitt it. i will not sit here and cry all damn day.

please pardon my sporadic cam behavior. i'm getting used to having it around. i'm working on bringing it with me when i leave the room for any length of time, and staying on it. i smoked on it at the beginning of this new incarnation of it, but i don't do that anymore. talking about getting stoned is one thing, smoking weed on cam is a whole other commitment that takes less sense than i have. i'm an advocate, not an idiot.

i should make some new icons for here. it's been a long long long time since i updated them. and i have my new straight blonde locks to show off.
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