Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

good morning my little polywogs

i awoke at 5:13, noticed doc was here and sat up in a panic, "What time is it!?!?" . . . i went outside with coffee and cigarettes and sat in the dawn getting my head together. and it is in a good space today. i'm feeling more energetic, or i'm sick of looking at the furball over there and i'm ready to vacuum.

and then said furball came to lay down with me, good morning, Simon. him and his long fur.

"But it is unclear whether the VA hospital was required to report his mental health treatment, so it may not have shown up on a background check." - some guy on the news about yesterday's shooter. mmm-hhhmmm. this whole thing is a failure of EVERYTHING. except maybe, just maybe, the quick police response, but it wasn't enough to save 12 people. in all honesty, no snark, i'm sickened by this. that it KEEPS happening and it keeps getting worse. ever since 9/11 . . . i've already said it, the country went to Crazytown and hasn't come back. our country is nesting in an insane delusion that keeps getting people killed. i vote, i advocate, i do what i should as a citizen to help change things for the better, so you'll pardon my disgust when everything keeps going deeper down the pit.

doc and i are getting really good at disagreement resolution. at least with each other, i still have no hope of communicating effectively with the outside world. i told him my master plan last night. showed him the hip pack and the boots i found ( first bag on the page, and the lace up boots). the boots and the hip pack are both fake leather, i'm okay with that. i don't want the boots to trudge through snow or sleet or ice. just for a couple of nice winters in vegas. and the hip pack won't get much abuse either. i can hang my camera pack on the belt, on the other side from the pack, and have a whole holster thing going. that appeals to me more than a rucksack, i'm finally over that. and the messenger bag is even too big. and neither fit my laptop, so i may as well get something small just to carry my ID and phone and keys and blade.

i have yet to meet more than three people in my life that don't have mental health issues. so why is this country still so hush hush about it? makes no sense. i guess it's why porn isn't talked about but it is so prevalent the world over. mental health is our porn.

anyone ever seen a movie called "Breaking Glass"? 1981, starring Hazel O'Connor, a musician that i can best describe as hard core new wave. or maybe art wave. whatever. doc said it made his ears bleed. anyway, i downloaded the movie and the soundtrack last night. i saw the movie when it came out on HBO, in my granparent's living room. it had massive impact on me. later, i played it for a guy at my first college (the mormon one) and he raped me to it. i was afraid last night when i went to listen to the music that the rape would be the only thing i could associate with it, and i was determined to own it again. so i put in my earbuds (wretched things, my headphones will be here any day), and put on the music and sat back and let memory take over, prepared for an onslaught. what came back were pleasant memories of laying on the floor in the sunlight watching the movie and falling in love with Hazel, and dancing around my first apartment half naked to it. i was so pleased.

freddie has been out in the back yard for three hours now and shows no sign of wanting to come back in. she isn't big enough to get up the walls to escape and can't get through the fence any more than chewy can. so if she wants to stay in the yard, good for her.

so, the UN report says that the chemical attack came from the direction of two military instillations. hmmm. i wonder if the rebels have control of those instillations? no, i don't think they do. so the rebels doing the gassing is looking less and less likely. suck it, conservatives. and (i am against the bombing of Syria, let me say first, i'm just playing devil's advocate), how does dropping bombs on a country from high up in the air equal, in any sense of the physical universe, "going in with the muslim brotherhood"? is obama going to attach parachutes to members and drop them with the bombs? stupid conservatives. and stupid B for even bringing it up. ignorant motherfucker.

i'm not getting into any online arguments today. this is a promise i make to myself. therefore, i will stay away from facebook. in fact, i think i'll spend my online time on pinterest again today. yay for being productive. or not.

have a good day!

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