Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

that can't possibly taste good

i just called one of my neighbors a bad name. i didn't mean for her to hear me, but i'm pretty sure she did. as i was walking by, i looked at her and smiled and she gave me a dirty look and looked away. when she got into her car, i commented to Chewy what an unfriendly cunt she was. then i noticed her back window open. oops. shouldn't have given me that dirty look, i guess. don't fuck with me at 6am.

tonight is First Friday AND the gay pride parade. i want to go so bad. doc wants to put me on a bus and send me down alone. nice, huh? that would be great for him, he loves wandering alone, i get freaked out. especially in an unfamiliar part of town. and for the first time in months, we have gas money for the trip downtown, so we wouldn't have to take the scooter. although taking the scooter would be fun. so we'll see how today goes. i'll get doc to sleep and relax and hopefully we can go tonight. i think we would have fun.

i was a raging shit yesterday. i was so mean to doc for no reason. so i went back to bed. and i stayed there until i felt like a human being again. i don't know what my deal was. part of it was him coming home at 6:18 and waking me up and me not getting my quiet time in the morning. i need my mornings.

well, shit. the house is clean. my room is clean. there's nothing to do. i walked the dog before the sun came up because i didn't want to sweat too much. i sweat like a race horse on my face and i straightened my hair last night, so i can't get it wet. not even with sweatiness.

major has just climbed onto my lap, pinning my arms to my legs with my hands on the keyboard. he doesn't seem to want me to pet him, he's just laying here being quiet. we're lucky he has such a pleasant meow. it's not harsh or whiny or demanding. like felix's meow, whiny, harsh AND demanding. he starts up at feeding time. and there are times he makes so much noise while i get the food ready that i have to put him outside until i'm done.

the girl next door confuses me. i don't know how old she is, younger than me, but not by more than 10 years. she has two kids and lives above the garage with her giant poodle miles (yes, the one of the bark fest the other night). when i'm out on the porch and she thinks i'm not looking, she stands there with her hand on her hip staring at me like i'm in a fucking zoo. then yesterday, the guy next door that we're friends with heard that i was in pain and told doc to wait outside. the next thing doc knows, she comes out of the house, hands him a couple vicodin and wordlessly goes back into the house. weird. i thank her. the relief from the tooth pain for a few hours was great.

i've stopped eating solid food. i know the tooth is going to come out. but i just have to put it off as long as i can. when i think of losing another tooth, i just start crying. i try not to let doc see it.

my hair is about 5 different shades of blonde. i like it. it looks horrible by any hair dresser's standards, but i like it. it's not that noticeable when it is curly. when it's straight, it is VERY noticeable. i have red dye to cover it up, but i'm really liking the blonde and the red will just be vibrant for a few days and then wash out and i will have taupe hair again.

does old navy have skinny jeans? i want a pair of skinny jeans and a new pair of boots (that aren't doc martens) for the fall/winter. i haven't had new boots in a decade. i've been waiting for the ones i like come back into fashion. which they have. it shouldn't be too hard to find a cheap pair i like. i have enough tshirts. but i only have two pair of jeans that don't have holes in them, and they are both drastically out of fashion. i am by no means a style diva, but this fall, some things have come back that i really like that i used to wear back in the day.

i always said if i were skinny i would dress better. well, i'm skinny now. have been for a while. and while i am dressing better (i change my clothes daily now, instead of once a week) and wearing stuff i bought for skinny time, i'm tired of it all and i want a bit of modern style. i even have a style board on pinterest. something is very wrong with me.

as long as i don't stumble into looking like a hipster. i'm too old for that. i would look and feel ridiculous. and who would i be impressing? 20-somethings? no one's opinion could be less important to me. people are completely useless until their 30's and by that time most of them are mellowing and breeding and putting their brains to sleep. or, in the case of this town, just breeding and drinking. never have i seen such a town full of functional drunks. it's like water here. everyone we know drinks and drives, which is why we won't get into a car with any of them.

my new plot is to get out of the suburbs and move downtown. but i don't know that i'm ready for that. i'm a suburban girl. i like the wide streets and lack of traffic and trees and all the trappings of the suburbs. the space, the general quiet. i would miss these things. and downtown is filling up with hipsters, anyway. it's more fun to live the good life here surrounded by breeders who keep to themselves and mow their lawns on wednesdays.

so beaded necklaces are out and long chains and chunky charms are in. so i won't be making any more beaded necklaces to sell. the earrings i make will always have a market. Boho is always in style somewhere.

awwe, there's a cat sneezing somewhere in the hallway. a-chew-mew!

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