Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

i'm going to go with good morning

because it's not a bad morning. i'm just not awake yet.

B doesn't listen. he was told to put the bikes between the gate and the tree. he put them beyond the tree, outside my bedroom window. i opened my window to ugly motorcycles. i'm not a happy person. why doesn't anyone listen? why do they just do what they want? such scumbags. he was also told to call before he came over to avoid freaking me out. mission not accomplished. last night while i was napping, the doorbell rang. when i didn't answer it (i don't answer the door at night), my phone rang. then a few minutes later i got up and there were people putting bikes in the back. fucking idiot! so simple, common courtesy, call first. it's like he is trying to get me to go off just to see how crazy i really am. i'm crazy enough to go at him with a knife. i don't like him anyway and he is not doing anything to ingratiate himself to me. we're not off to a strong start.

it's a beautiful day. the excessive heat advisory is over, it will only be 103 today. i'm still staying inside and smoking out of doc's bathroom, but it won't be as screaming hot.i worry about Felix. Evie has the good sense to come home in the heat of the day, Felix does not. he stays out or goes to his other house or whatever.

i started the formatting of the new poetry book. the working title is Go Ahead, Eat the Daisies. i'm publishing it in trade paperback size. the formatting should take the rest of the day, i expect the book will be ready for purchase by the end of the week. i'm giving myself three hours for the cover art. that's it. i'm not going to bleed over it as i have done in the past. and i don't want to do something boring like others have done, or too complicated to be pleasing to the eye.

i need to tidy up in here. put pillows up and fold blankets. and vacuum. bagira apparently exploded over night. and lelu has found new and exciting places to puke. i think i can put the bird nest away now, too. the bird has been dead for a while now.

i set up the web cam last night and turned it on and sat in front of it. today is the big commitment and making a page to display the image. no sense wasting a camera, and you could be staring at me while i format a book, why would you do anything else? and the best thing about the web cam is the long ass cord. i can set it up to watch the cats or the back yard.

but i'm NOT using it for security. i refuse. it is for fun. i have enough security. i will have doc put a stop to B coming over and then calling, and then have him move his fucking bikes to where they should go.

i guess the web cam was always tied to this journal. the whole displaying-myself-for-the-world-or-anyone-who-is-listening. and i don't know what ultimately drives me to want the cam and the journal. it isn't fame. i thought it was. i was wrong. i could be really obnoxious and say it is my performance art piece. but i won't. it just is what it is. but it's connected to this journal in some way.

enough. i've done my chores and now i'm going to go back to sleep for a couple of hours.

have a nice morning.

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