Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

"close your eyes and think of home"

the cats don't seem excited about getting a new brother. hmmm. they will perk up. vader needs someone to play with. besides freddie and the occasional pounce on leeloo or fight with simon.

i think felix has another family. i'm fine with it, if he does. as long as he comes home in the mornings for our love sessions and for food. he's so happy being an outdoor cat. and i just want him to be happy.

i slept through the evening and now i'm up for late night. i spent the first two hours i was awake chain smoking and drinking coffee. now i've switched to gatorade and no cigarettes.

i'm downloading music. since i have more room now, hee. i keep thinking of songs i want on my play list, and going and hunting for them. i really miss limewire. right now i'm waiting on a ministry CD to download so i can listen to "All Day Remix". when i first moved to PA, i was lost. i hated it. i was the only punk in my school. i had a walkman i listened to on the bus, one tape. one i made off the radio, KROC in LA. it was that song. i played it over and over on the long ride to school, sitting in the very front seat. through the alien snow and ice and salt and disgustingness of pittsburgh. i remember the hate and desperation i was filled with. all i wanted was to go back to my sunny Mission Viejo and my rich school district and mormons that weren't amish in blue jeans. narrow, pot holed roads twisting through the grey. god, how that song kept me from killing people. suddenly today i remembered it and now i'm desperate to hear it.

the worst thing a parent can do is move their kid around all over the country. the second worst thing is to take your surf-punk daughter and drag her to the outskirts of what tripper called 'spittsburgh', and she was only 6. she knew.

i got three good things out of pittsburgh, kelli, leslie and tim. kelli is my best friend, leslie was my best friend and we are still close, and tim introduced me to douchebag, who took me to philly where i met doc. these three people are key in my life. i don't give douchebag any of the credit, it all goes to tim.

next friday is First Friday. doc and i are definitely going. the next night is the slam/open mic in the trailer at the construction site downtown. i love that. i want to go simply for the venue. i also want to hear the slam team. i was really impressed with the head of the team when she read at the double down slam. i sometimes wish i could write slam poetry, and then i stop myself and tell myself that what i write is for me, not for performance or judgment. sure, i like to perform my poems, but they are not meant for competitive performance. they are not political or in your face or loud.

9 hours until Bobo! we called the shelter today and spoke to the head of adoptions. she knows of doc coming in looking for jack, and his affair with bobo. i told her the $50 off sale put Bobo within reach to get for doc. she was all teary and stuff and told me they would hold bobo at the shelter tomorrow instead of sending him to the adoption fair. so he's waiting there, with my name on his cage, waiting for us.

i told evie tonight that the boys are going to outnumber us girls again. she meowed in agreement, or indigestion, hard to tell.

i'm going to go smoke and contemplate Ministry's transition from a straight up fluffy new wave band to the hard core evil that they are today.

have a nice morning.

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