i ordered 82 pictures. all i had to pay was postage. half what i thought i would have to pay, at that. 50 pictures of cats and sunsets and doc and the house. 32 old cam pics. actually the ones featured in "Can't Be Everything", you know, the video none of you have watched. heh.
i got a message through youtube today from someone saying "i'm impressed" and it turned out to be spam. i was so bummed. why do i need . . . whatever.
evie brought me a lizard today. this one was alive. missing half a back leg and all of its tail, but not recently. i picked it up and it bit me, they don't have teeth. but it clamped down and wouldn't let go. we tried to tempt him with a mealworm, but no go, he liked my finger. doc finally pried his jaws open. silly lizard. we put him in one of the lizard cubbies on the wall. and we left some meal worms out for the group.
evie wasn't mad at me at all for taking away her toy. it's like she brings me these things to save them. she's a weird cat. i used to have a siamese that would kill mama rabbits and bring me the babies to take care of. oh, the heartbreak. she was a weird cat, too.
oh, wow, is it that late? only two hours until i have to get doc up. an hour passed without me noticing. i've been watching him sleep. he laid the bike down today and hurt his thumb. he's sleeping with an ice pack on it. he IS going to work every day this week. ELEPHANTS! he can't go see the elephants unless he goes to work every day. why am i so excited about him going to cambodia? besides having the coolest souveneir collection.
i'm going to have to bite it and go see my shrink. i can't find doc an appointment anywhere, let alone look for my own. so i'll go see my old shrink. get the scripts from him and just let it go. i read an article today about ketamine being studied to treat untreatable depression (defined as having failed at 2 or more meds, i've failed at 8). i want in on this.
" . . . this talking is only bravado . . ."
if i could stop listening to music for a while i could make a new video. choices. i'm going to use a batch of recent photos. just for shits and giggles. i just don't know what piece i'm going to use. like i said, the stuff i just found is lost in my lj for now and not written down anywhere, i'm going to have to transcribe it if i don't find it. i have to listen and see what piece reflects me right now.
it's either that or take a bath. now i don't know what to do. if i take a bath, i will likely finish the book i'm reading. if i make a video, no one will watch it. either way, the pluses and minuses even out with both. if i make a video really quickly i can still take a bath. but if i make a video really quickly, i will likely fuck it up. right. video. bath in the morning. sorted.