Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

and then all the drugs hit me at once

my headphones finally died. only the right works. i'm actually going to try to fix them. i've had them for 20 years, and i love them. i've tried others, and haven't found any i like. i hate those iPod earplugs things. i like my headphones, which fit over my ears and block out all the other noise. i think curtis paid only $40 for them when he got them so long ago before he gave the to me.

it took me a while to notice because i've been sitting with my back to the living room listening to music really loud, so i've kept the ear piece off my left ear. i put it on today and was all bummed. so i checked it out and i can easily take them apart and check the wires. i like to fix things. the cool thing about them is that since they fit over my ears, they still block the sound from outside them. so it's still an immersive (no, apparently it isn't a word, i don't care) experience, listening to music.

doc and Red went for their second plasma sucking session today. i can't do it because of my meds, but hearing them describe it, it isn't something i would want to do anyway. but it meant take out chicken for lunch. damn good. some chain i think. they used to have this great dipping sauce that they don't have anymore, but the chicken tenders are SO tender and juicy and not at all greasy for fried chicken.

then doc and i thought about going out for ice cream again. then decided not to, the richness of it did some messed up things to our bodies. we'll wait on that for a while.

something has changed with doc recently, or maybe it has changed with me. i take care of him more. he lets me. i like to wait on him and be his "runner". and it makes me feel good to nurture him. do little things like stuff him cigarettes for work each night so he has more time to sleep in, and making him a drink or getting him coffee. i wish i could cook for him on a regular basis. but we don't like each other's food. we have VERY different cooking tastes.

and it isn't out of "love for my husband" or any of that crap, the marriage is over. has been for years. i've just come to accept it and love him in what capacity he can let me. i do it because he does so much for me. anything that i need that can't be bought online, he is the one who gets it for me. food, toilet paper, tampons . . . and all without complaining. and he takes such good care of me. checks on me when i'm in the bath. comes running any time i yell "fuck" out of nowhere in frustration to see if he can help me. and all this stuff and infinitely more he has done for me for years and continues to do for me. he even did it during the years he couldn't stand me.

it's like maybe there is karma and it sent me these few wonderful men in my life to make up for all the dipshits i dealt with growing up. not bad for a toothless, middle-aged dyke. heh. (big smile on my face as i type that, everything is temporary, even my sexuality)

oh! here now, the left ear piece is working now! okay. i didn't even move the wire or anything, it just snapped back on. cool. because i'm not giving them up until they are dead.

i took a vacuum, canned air, computer solution (smells like rubbing alcohol to me, but whatever) and swabs to the printer. got it all cleaned up. now i just have to plug it in and get the ink out and clean the printing head. if i need new ink for it that will have to wait. i'm mainly concerned with the scanning feature. i found some collages i made i want to scan. i've thought about revisiting my deviantart site again and updating it. and i have 22 years of pictures with santa i want to scan and use for a video.

i know i'm writing a lot today, but i'm up. and i have custody of the computer because everyone is laying down. and twitter is boring. not all the time, just today. even social websites have their off days.

oh, damn, i'm missing Rachel Maddow. got to go!

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