Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

i'm so relaxed

i just smoked a whole cafe mocha hookah by myself. it took two hours. i feel amazingly relaxed. just so zen with everything. i'm wondering though, why do i always crave a cigarette after hookah? always have. smoking it reminded me of kelli. we used to go to the hookah lounge and sit for hours and smoke away. and drink and eat hummus and grape leaves. a preface to our double down trips. anyway, the boys gave doc their hookah, even though we have two. theirs breaks down and fits in a case, i like it. it has an etched red glass and a green hose.

then doc, the bargain hunter, was looking through a smoke shop the other day and found tins of hookah tobacco for a dollar each. so he bought a bunch. we have every possible flavor. i chose the cafe mocha because coffee was my favorite flavor when kelli was around.

i talked to her today. she's my original Smail and always will be. as well as my bestest friend. i was feeling all anxious about Red and she talked me down. the whole last week has been sensory overload with her around. i'm not used to people. even one is too many. no, i don't mean that. she is welcome here and i'm glad she's here. i just get stressed out when i have to talk. or listen. except for kelli on the phone.

it IS cute watching doc fawn all over her. anything she wants. he's there. he is positively smitten. it's funny to watch. i've seen him like this over a couple of girls in the past 15 years, but never someone who lived with us. so it's an adorable diversion for me.

and like i said the other day, the focus is off me. and that is just fine. that's the way i like it. left alone to do my thing. not that my thing is all that interesting or busy, but no one is bugging me. and i have places to be. the kitchen, my room, the patio, the living room. depending on where the action is and whether i want to be around it.

i still haven't found a DVD burning program. then again, i haven't looked all that hard. i did one search for one brand. i have three other brands to try. my hard drive is dangerously full. i need to burn some video and a LOT of music. of mine and doc's.

the itunes icon is taunting me. i hate it. i hate having it on my machine. ooh, ick. but the other machine with USB support is too slow. the fast computer's USBs don't work for some reason. probably just to fuck with me. my computers have attitude.

i'm missin the Graham Norton show. i may as well go smoke a cigarette.

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