i underestimated Simon's revenge drivers

yesterday morning, sai sai and i got into a little spat. i woke up and he was laying next to me as usual and i started petting him. usually i do this and fall back to sleep. yesterday i didn't and when he'd had enough pets, he got up and moved around to my back. i was feeling onery and i wanted to pet and love him more so i rolled over and pet him more. he got sick of it, got up, went to my back. i rolled over, rinse repeat. eventually he got up with a snort and left. about an hour after i got up, he came out into the living room and i gave him catnip and made it up to him.

or so i thought . . .

this morning i am asleep. having a bad dream about jack. through my limited consciousness, i feel a paw on my chest, and then another. i think to mysef, "aww, simon wants attention," and i am needing a cat after that dream so i move my arms off my chest and pet simon's neck. he climbs up on me, this is rare and i feel special, so i deal with the pain.

the pain you say? see, when a cat steps on your squishy parts all of the cat's weight is focused in the point at the end of its leg, its paw. this hurts. depending on the heaviness of the cat. simon is a big cat. he steps on my tits, it hurts like a motherfucker. but i love him and he lays down on my chest. i pet his head and we both fall asleep. so i think . . .

suddenly, sai sai is up. standing on my chest and belly. he just stands there, i can't stand the pain, so i push him down and he lays down next to me, problem solved. i go back to sleep.

until . . .

poke. poke. up. turn around. poke. poke. knead. with claws.

simon got kicked out of bed. he's at my feet purring right now and i'm not speaking to him.

devious cat.