last night we went to the old apartments and searched. there's a whole new batch of ferals. it was so sad.
speaking of sad, both doc and i are now prone to sudden fits of crying. i keep doing it in front of him and i don't want to. i want to stay strong.
i think i'm holding together pretty well on a skeleton diet of xanax and a substitute antidepressant. i have to get a new doctor, that's another thing i need to do, i'll finish up the next appointment with this one, hopefully i will have gotten my fuckin valium by then. or i'll be in the hospital and suing him for malpractice. hey, maybe i should do that. fucker. no more foreign doctors.
doc got the flyers to distribute about jack. he's going to take one up to the animal hospital jack goes to that is also the closest. no one has brought him in. the receptionist knew jack. he wasn't in too long ago for his respritory infection.
meantime, bagira has been left to his own devices. mostly staying in the mudroom, coming out into the kitchen when i have my late night cigarettes and meowing at me. i was hoping he'd be wandering around by now. i'm going to have to lock him out of the mudroom. he needs to meet the other cats and get to know them. plus, he hasn't been out since the great escape and he's got to be wanting to get some leg stretch time. he is eating the communal food and having soft food in the evenings at last turn. he's happy enough, he purrs readily enough, he's just shy. and he's kind of been ignored since this jack thing happened.
simon has just laid his head on my bicep. suddenly he's all curled up with me. i slept in bed with him last night instead of on the couch with felix, i guess he's feeling the love. now he's on my chest. heh.
am i a fool to feel confident that the flyers will get us what we want? someone on the phone saying, "i have your cat, come give me my money". then, he's going in next week to get chipped. well, assuming he's back by then, he's getting chipped as soon as he comes back. they're all getting chipped now, but he's going first. we didn't do it when he was sick because jack never goes out, he's afraid of out. augh.
time for my call into the doctor's office about my valium. this is another thing that should be sorted soon.