Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

from your angle, i'm sure it's different

i'm not getting anything done. i'm absolutely unproductive. i consume. that is all i do. i consume, i excrete, i sleep. and that sums up my life. something needs to change.

i DID write a poem today, so i should feel good about that. maybe tonight, after doc goes to work, i'll work on my poetry. i think i have enough money to get myself an ISDN number for my next book. but there's no point getting it until i'm ready. then i can justify the expense.

i've got no excuse not to record more poems. hell, i've got poems recorded that aren't on my podcast that i could put up and i don't. i am the laziest person i know! this has got to stop! the fear is just an excuse not to move forward. and why am i so afraid of moving forward? i'm not worried about publishing another book that gets ignored. it's been 6 years and i haven't sold one of my other books. in fact, i have the only copies. i could take them down and have the only copies and way long from now when i'm dead and burned someone can find them and they will be incredibly valuable. yeah.

okay. enough fantasy. time for more coffee. (break for dancing and music)

wow, i just had a bagira encounter. i went into the kitchen to get the coffee and he was in the doorway of the mudroom, just sitting there owning the doorway. so i called to him and got down on his level and made "fuzzle" hand (rub the tips of the first two fingers of your hand against your thumb quickly) at him and meowed at him until he slowly made his way over to me. he got head rubs and butt pets and went over to the wet food dish to have some dinner.

i'm going to just love this cat, i can tell. he's got a loud, deep purr. like i said, his fur is a bit longer than jack and freddie's. and he has a big fluffy tail. he's got short legs and a fat belly. but all of him is fat, not just his belly. he's got padding all over. freddie's just got more of a fat belly, the rest of her is skinny. but not bagira. he's built like a bulldog. like henry was.

1-800-pet meds really means it when they say they send your pet a treat with your order. with lelu's meds the other day, they sent a packet of catnip. i'm planning to break it out tonight and see how the cats like it. they are really happy with the nip they have, but are always willing to try another kind.

when the woman across the street moved out, she gave us all manner and size of terra cotta pots and saucers to go with them. plus doc trash picked a really nice growing box. so i plan to have a container garden this spring and summer. i'm hopig i do better with outdoor plants than i do with indoor plants. in the box i'll plant some nice kind of grass for the cats to eat, maybe with some catnip thrown in so it all grows together.

and i'll do some basil and cilantro and oregano for doc's cooking. and maybe some lettuces. i'll have to do some research on that to see how picky lettuce is to grow. if it needs a lot of water or care, it's not for me. i need stuff that can be watered every other day, that just sits in its container and grows. there's plenty of sunlight out on the porch. not direct sunlight. at least not for most of the day.

and we have to find a bird seed source for the spring, summer times. i still plan to put a bird feeder out. i'm going to put a humming bird feeder out, too. since we have those. i love humming birds.

and wildflowers. ones that are indigenous. i want to scatter them along the wall and i plan to nurture the ivy out back and see if i can get it to grow up the wall a bit.

doc's up, time to end this and pay attention to him.

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