Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

valium + ambien = zonk

the shrink told me the tranquilizer was stronger, and i warned doc that it was also to help me sleep. so he knew it was stronger. neither of us was prepared for what i got. i got a bottle with more warning labels than bottle and doc got a lecture from the pharmacist. strong drug, high milligrams yes yes. twice as strong as the xanax i was taking, which was a lot. no driving. still. no drinking, that's nothing new. but i took one and i was OUT. then i took another with my sleeper at the appropriate time and ZONK, i was gone for a few hours.

i've had IV valium before and i remember it being a lot of fun. so this morning when i took my meds, i only took a half a valium to see if i can stay awake. today is supposed to be a rainy day, i don't want to sleep through that.

no dreams. it was a dead sleep. i didn't even wake up when i got too hot. i just took off my comforter. i woke up with it off this morning and quickly cuddled up in it. when i woke up i stayed in bed for a few minutes but i can't do that. i have to jump up bleary eyed and rush out into the door jam.

i should write an angry poem about my leather being gone. but that would be admitting that my leather is really gone. i thought about it yesterday and i can't get mad, i'm still too sad about it and thwarted in my vengeance scheme. there are cameras in the parking lot where mike works. and i don't know where he lives. i need some big friends to beat him up. but i don't have any big friends. and nothing i do will get me that leather back. revenge is meaningless, after all is said and done. unless you can do a liam neeson thing on them.

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